5 Ways You Can Invest In True Love Without Going On A Date

by Howard Rudnick

It seems like any question you ask, or task you have to complete, comes with the answer, “Oh, there's an app for that!”

This mentality of using an app for essentially anything has been especially useful to Millennials looking for relationships, or even just for someone to spend the night with.

The problem is that this generation feels they need to use an app to meet their beloved, and that's simply not true.

I've seen, with my own two eyes, single men and women glued to their phones all night while out at a bar or club. They're so detached from their surroundings they're closing themselves off from meeting new people.

OK, so not every person who approaches you is going to be someone you're going to have a connection with, but that's up to you to decide.

Here are five ways you can find true love without relying on a dating app:

1. Understand what you want in a partner.

This is the biggest challenge any 20-something seems to have.

The age of the person you're attempting to attract or make a connection with is going to tell you a lot about their priorities and their current, or planned, life path.

Are they looking for a long-term committed relationship to lead to marriage and a family? Are you only looking for something short-term because you're afraid of commitment? Do lifestyle differences matter to you immensely (i.e. diet/religious/intimacy restrictions)?

It's important to know what you're willing to accept, what you're not willing to budge on and what you're willing to make due with.

You decide what type of relationship you want to be in and who you take that journey with, so you should feel comfortable having open and honest discussions with one another.

The only way you're going to know if the relationship you're embarking on is worth your time is if you speak about it.

2. Separate your friends and your love life.

My biggest pet peeve is people who need a group consensus to decide whether to swipe left or right when going through Tinder.

OK, so might have a history of poor decision making skills, but you shouldn't let your friends influence your decision on who YOU like.

You could have a totally different opinion or preference than your friend on the type of SO you want, and you shouldn't date someone or even be interested in someone based on someone else's opinion.

Take a chance and see if the person who everyone said you shouldn't give a chance is actually worth your time. Taking risks in life can have the best ROI.

3. Be yourself.

This one is self-explanatory.

I know you've heard it before, but really, be yourself.

If you're one of those people who has a meticulously curated social media account, and who worries about "doing it for the 'Gram," then your priorities and the people you attract are all wrong.

If you're meeting someone new, it's typical to have a wall up, but the wall comes down once you feel comfortable. Don't put up a front because ultimately those fronts have cracks and the person you truly are will come out.

Starting a relationship based on a lie or with dishonesty is not a relationship with a healthy foundation.

4. Make peace with your past.

The big issue I see with my generation is they're still too often connected to individuals who they had a "friends with benefits" relationship with, they're still talking to their ex or they just engage in intimate relationships out of convenience.

It's OK to do these things when you have no intention of meeting someone, but if you are there comes a point where you have to stop, close the door and move on.

When you're dating someone new, you're inevitably going to compare them to the people from your past. But if you're still dealing with people from your past when you're trying to move forward, you're only going to harm yourself.

Don't be the person who pushes away chances on new relationships and happiness because you're hung up on someone from your past.

5. Don't be greedy.

Do not, and I repeat, do not date multiple people at one time.

This is the biggest symbol of an individual who can't find a healthy and happy relationship.

It appears that as a generation, with the availability of dating apps, we take the term "playing the field" very literally.

If you're dating/talking to/sharing time with numerous individuals, you're also splitting your full attention from the person who may be the one.

While it may seem advantageous to play the field, it isn't fair to the other person who may be investing their entirety into the relationship.

Take a chance, put your phones down when you go out and focus on yourself. There's no better time to grow than now.