Should You Introduce Him To Your Friends? Ask Yourself These Questions First
I once introduced a guy who I was dating to all of my friends at my 30th birthday party. Let me tell you: It was a huge mistake.
First of all, if your boyfriend has never met your friends before, it's a bit overwhelming to ambush him with about 50 of them all at once. Additionally, all of my friends were drunk and asking him very invasive questions, not to mention some of my exes were also in attendance at the party.
My BF ended up getting nervous and hiding out in a corner on his phone, which made all of my friends think he was rude. It was a complete disaster.
We ended up breaking up a few weeks later. Was it because of the birthday party? Who knows? All I know is that it wasn't prime time for introductions, and I wish I would have thought it out better beforehand.
If you think it's time to introduce your partner to your BFF, here are some questions you should ask yourself first, so you don't make the same mistakes I did.
1. Do I Want To Know What My BFF Thinks?
You know your best friend will tell you the truth — or at least their truth — and that might not be the same as how you feel about your relationship. What if they don't like him?
Introducing your BF to your BFFs leaves him open to judgement, criticism, and praise. Make sure that's something you, your relationship, and your friendships are ready for.
But remember, your friend's impression of your boyfriend is not doctrine. Unless your friend is in a healthy, loving relationship that you admire, then she probably isn't someone to take relationship advice from. Too often, we take love advice from all the wrong people just because they are people we are close to or have fun with.
2. Am I Ready To Bring My Worlds Together?
Once you introduce your guy to your friends, it kind of seals the deal that he is a part of your life. Your friends will start adding him to group text chains, Facebook invitations, and parties, usually without asking you first. They will follow him on Instagram and friend request him on social media.
Once you bring your BF around, he has free reign to befriend. Your guy is part of your group now. This is great because it really solidifies that you are a couple living a full, complete life together. However, it also really sucks if you and your partner break up. If that happens, people might pick sides, and you could continue to run into your ex at events far after you've actually stopped dating.
So before you introduce your guy to your gang, ask yourself if you're truly comfortable with the idea of him also being part of your friend group — potentially forever.
3. Is It The Right Situation?
A birthday party filled with 50 of my drunk friends and ex-boyfriends was definitely not the right situation. If you're introducing your boyfriend to your friends for the first time, make sure that it's a low-pressure, fun situation where everyone will actually get the chance to talk and get to know one another.
Ideal situations might include a brunch, dinner, sporting event, park hangout, beach day, mellow drinks, or game night. On the other hand, non-ideal situations might include a Hangover-type bender, wedding, birthday party, funeral, or any type of big, intimidating event.
4. Why Am I Doing It?
Are you so happy with your guy that you want to show him off to all your friends, or do you have doubts and need a second opinion? Either one is OK, but realize that if you are introducing your guy to your friends and asking what they think about him, you have to be ready for their response — whatever that may be. If it turns out they don't like him, what will that mean for your relationship... or for your friendships?
So if you are introducing your boyfriend to your friends for the first time, ask yourself, "Why?" Is it because you're excited about your guy and want to integrate him into your life, or is it because you have doubts and need a second opinion? Either way, always remember: No one is more honest than a best friend.
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