Forget Your Heart And Head: How Timing Determines The Success Of Your Relationship

by Cashie Rohaly

As much as I want to believe that love conquers all, that isn't always the case in romantic relationships. When our hearts are doing most of the decision-making for us, logic tends to be thrown out the window.

That being said, there is one aspect of love that we overlook, despite it being one of the biggest factors that can make or break a relationship: timing.

Time itself is a funny thing. Some would say that it is out of our control, for we cannot stop it, reverse it or speed it up. Others would argue that we can control our time simply by making decisions to do what we want with it.

Now there's a subcategory of time that is completely out of our control: timing. Time is the duration of our lives; timing is when something important happens and how we react to it.

Timing, as we all know, can make your day awesome or completely f*ck you over. Skipping every red light? Great timing. Catching the rush hour traffic at its peak? Sh*tty timing. Sure, we can acclimate and ensure that timing does not screw us over, but it can still beat our forward thinking.

It doesn’t always care how proactive we are about situations; timing can trump strategy. We can take every precaution to avoid timing taking over, but it still can get a hold of us. All it takes is one second for timing to completely impact your life and change you forever.

Sounds like love, doesn’t it?

It is no surprise that love and timing are intertwined. When one is in love, it is easy to be floored by how eerie the timing was when you met your significant other.

We’ve all heard the generic great timing story: “If I hadn’t been there, on that night and my phone hadn’t died in that moment, I wouldn’t have asked him to borrow his phone, I wouldn’t have bought him a drink as a thank you and we wouldn’t have closed the bar and been inseparable ever since. Awesome timing, right?” Sure.

A chain of events leading up to finding a wonderful person can make you feel euphoric and invincible, as if you are more powerful than the strongest force on this earth because it led you to an even greater force in your heart.

Then again, timing is a fickle bitch. That same timing that brought you and your partner together can be the same timing that rips you apart. Like I said before, timing can either make your day amazing, or totally f*ck you over.

So here is the harsh reality: Love and timing are dependent on each other. If they are not on the same track, too many variables will get in the way. It is not that timing will completely terminate a relationship, but rather it will hinder it.

Especially now, as we are in our 20s, we have to look out for ourselves first and foremost, and doing so is almost impossible when in a serious relationship. When you are in love, you want to give your partner everything and anything, even if it means making major sacrifices.

This early in life we are still exploring ourselves: our passions, our lifestyles and where we fit in the real world.

Before you can seriously commit to a relationship, you need to know where you stand on your own two feet. The timing of serious relationships in your early 20s may impede your ability to practice independence.

Furthermore, making compromises can turn into regret. If you are a city girl and he is a country guy, are you going to throw away your dreams of congested city life for love? You shouldn’t. Do not let timing paralyze you and make you think there are no other alternatives. That sacrifice may seem like you are saving time, when really you could be wasting it.

Distance of all kinds is another factor that adds to the poor timing of a relationship. While long distance relationships may be doable, there is the chance of constant strain and uncertainty.

It can shatter you faster than it will ever strengthen you. You can love someone from afar, but if the timing only allows you to see each other every so often, you will find yourself at a standstill.

There is also the potential for emotional distance, or maturity levels. Age is but a number, but there is no denying that sometimes we need to grow up before we can begin a relationship. You can love someone for every imperfection, but if they are simply not ready to be as committed as you are, the timing just isn't right.

Patience is one way to combat timing. If everyone could properly execute patience, this world would be a better place. Patience is a very hard concept to grasp, especially in the fast-paced environment that we live in today. Still, it is an achievable goal and it is what makes a relationship capable of overcoming cruel timing.

Just because you cannot be in your best relationship with someone now does not mean you will never be able to. If good timing brought you together and bad timing split you up, there is an abundance of opportunities for timing to do it all over again.

If you have hope and patience in timing, then it will reward you with what you got a taste of before you were ready: a true, epic, breathtaking love.

Love is not do or die, and it is not now or never. If it is love, it will last, it will wait and it will be even better when timing is no longer an issue and you can just let go and let love happen.