I'm Jaded, But That Doesn't Mean I'm Ready To Quit Dating
I've always been incredibly fascinated by love.
It's why I relate to Taylor Swift so incredibly, and why when I started my blog, I knew "love" had to be a category. Maybe it's because I'm a Libra and ruled by Venus. I don't know. Or maybe it's because I was a Disney child. (OK, it was definitely because I was a Disney child.)
I grew up thinking Prince Charming really existed. I thought I'd find him when I was 16, just like Ariel, and life would be nothing but happy songs, rainbows and, well, you might as well throw in a unicorn there just for shits.
There's one quote that sticks out to me from the ever so popular "Aquamarine" (I'm bringing back Emma Roberts and Jojo circa 2006), but it goes something like this, "Love is the closest thing we have to magic." And you know what? Jojo was fucking right.
Twelve-year-old me loved the idea of love, loved that it was something that supposedly felt like magic. Jump forward to 2009 and 15-year-old me had fallen for "Love Story" by Taylor Swift because it played out all her wildest dreams. (See what I did there?)
Then, 16-year-old me replayed the "You Belong With Me" video at least once before she went to bed and once when she woke up. For once, there was an artist who seemed to be as infatuated with love as I was.
As I've grown older, I've come to realize that love does feel like the closest thing we have to magic. So THANK YOU, JOJO. But I've also come to realize that, just like Taylor Swift, I've grown up and turned into a woman jaded by society. I'm jaded by the men I've dated or longed for, and the idea that in order for love to be real, a relationship has to be tumultuous.
Young adults my age thrive on drama and the tragedy of it all. And it's so fucking depressing.
I have this theory that Millennials love what they can't have and are so obsessed with nostalgia that they have this issue with repeating mistakes. Think about it; how many of your friends have gone back to men who were bad for them simply because they were A.) afraid of being alone, or B.) missed what they used to have?
It's hard not to miss what you used to have. I get it. I watched "Hey Arnold!" tonight and desperately longed for the early 2000s when my dad would chase me and my brother around the house every night screaming, "Rocket Power! 459!" before "Rocket Power" came on.
To this day I have no idea where the "459" came from, but I fucking miss it!
Love isn't the same as "Rocket Power" though. At least not like, literally. I did really fucking love "Rocket Power." But anyway, it's the past we're all longing to live in. Or at least that's what I've noticed. And in the case of "Hey Arnold!," I totally get it. I miss those classic shows too.
But old romances aren't "classics." All they are is old.
The ingredients of an old romance:
1 HUGE mistake (typically) 2 people (I hope...) 3+ months of heartbreak 4 years of resentment 5 years of longing for something that could've been
Look at the ingredients there. Heartbreak. Resentment. Longing. Mistake. NONE OF THESE WORDS ARE APPEALING, PEOPLE. I do not want a love pie made of this shit. And that's all you get when you go back to what's old because you're scared of what's new.
Love is this weird-ass phenomenon that nobody really gets until you can say, "Been there, done that. And it's never happening again." But like, come on fellow Millennials, we're the new romantics. And I'm not entirely convinced anymore that that means we have to be jaded. It's not romantic to be jaded, it's just plain sad.
So the next time you go on a Tinder date, or question if a guy actually likes you or just wants to get in your pants (chances are, it's usually both), just be positive.
One of my best friends/soul sistahs gave me this advice, and while it's relatively annoying/impossible, she was right. The only way we survive in today's dating world is to be positive and believe that the "big love" -- or whatever you'd like to call it -- is out there.
I may be jaded, but I'm not jaded enough to call it quits yet. And neither should you.