Single Life
Woman manifesting love and relationships.

Here Are 6 Steps Toward Manifesting The Relationship Of Your Dreams

Repeat after me: "I radiate love."

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If you want to fall in love at some point in the future, learning how to manifest a relationship can be incredibly powerful. Whether or not you consider yourself a spiritual person, manifestation — a practice that involves letting go of negativity and embracing positivity in order to bring good things into your life — can help you feel good and be proactive about going after what you want. “It’s about deleting the old conditioning, limiting beliefs, and toxic environments and people that hold you back,” says Mia Belle, certified life coach and success coach. From there, you make the active decision to “shift the focus back to love, joy, [and] gratitude.” Once you’re in that sweet spot, you’re primed to attract happiness, peace, and yes, even love.

Manifestation is similar to the law of attraction: Whatever you put into the world, that’s what you get back. So, if you want to receive love, you have to put love out there into the universe, too. There are plenty of ways to do that, ranging from repeating affirmations to using crystals (more on all that and more below). It’s all about having the right attitude, staying grateful, and practicing an open-hearted approach to life.

So, want to manifest a relationship? Belle and other experts break it down into six steps.

1. Check In With Yourself
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Are you ready for love? Do you really want to fall in love? It’s OK if your answers are “no.” No matter how long you’ve been single or what your dream relationship looks like, take some time to reflect on how you’re currently feeling. According to Belle, “We are manifesting 24/7, whether we realize it or not, through our energy, thoughts, habits, beliefs, words, and actions.”

So, if you throw yourself into pursuing a relationship only because that’s what you think you should do — maybe because you’re the one single friend in your group, or your mom keeps pestering you to find a date for your cousin’s wedding — you might wind up putting out the wrong kind of energy.

If you’re coming off of a recent breakup and are not quite ready to jump into something new, you can set positive seeds for your future by working on emulating love and gratitude in other aspects of your life. If you’ve recently gotten out of a toxic relationship, Xandrine Aguilar, a manifestation and empowerment coach, says it’s imperative to take some time to focus on yourself before you try to find something new again. Post-split, she says you’re in “prime time for self-love and inner work.”

“If we don’t do the inner work, we can possibly attract a similar situation with just a different person and name,” she says. “There’s a saying, ‘Wherever you go, there you are.’ In order to attract something different, you have to be emitting from a different emotional/energetic standpoint.” That inner work might involve working with a therapist or life coach, journaling, meditation, taking care of your body through sleep and exercise, or turning to your faith.

2. Practice Positivity

Manifestation is the result of what you create with your beliefs,” Manifesting Ninja’s Maria Concha, previously told Elite Daily. “What you see in your reality now are the seeds (thoughts and emotions) you planted at a certain point in your life,” she said. Of course, life will never be perfect no matter how positive you are. There are certain unavoidable traumas, losses, and pitfalls that happen to everyone. But when it comes to matters you can control — even and especially the small stuff — work to stay positive.

For example, if you’re stuck in a long line for your morning coffee, take it as an opportunity to listen to your favorite song instead of muttering under your breath how you wish it was moving faster. With time and practice, you’ll get sucked into the music, and not even notice how long the line takes. The line might even really speed up. “If you pay close attention, you will see the correlation between your thoughts and what you have in your reality,” Concha said.

Per the law of attraction, if you put out negative energy, that’s what you’ll receive, too. If you’re about to meet up with a new Hinge date, are you letting negative feelings about your appearance get in the way of being excited to get to know your date? Do you feel dread going to certain parties because you think you won’t meet anyone new? “Work on your thoughts, beliefs, emotions, words, [and] habits to match the version of you who already has what you desire,” says Belle. When you feel negative thoughts rising up, do your best to replace them with positive ones.

One of the easiest ways to do this, says Belle, is to keep gratitude at the forefront of your thoughts. “Embody gratitude for everything you already have in your life and all that's yet to come. Keep your thoughts positive, your heart filled with love, and be open to receiving magic.”

3. Attract The Right Person By Focusing On Self-Love
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Think about it — you probably want someone who has wonderful qualities and knows they bring a lot to the table. In order to receive that kind of energy, you have to project it, too. As Belle puts it, “If you want to attract love, you need to embody love.”

That’s easier said than done, though. One concrete way to think about this? “Keep your heart open by keeping yourself in check by asking yourself constantly: Am I acting with fear or with love?” Aguilar suggests. If you’re worried that your date is not going to find you worthy or “good enough,” that’s leading with fear. If you enter the date staying open-minded about finding a great connection, and confident about who you are, that’s leading with love. In other words, she says, “Be the kind of person you’d like to attract.”

Aguilar has had firsthand experience with this concept. “I find that the times that I attract love are when I am in love with life, doing what makes me happy,” she says.

If dating starts to feel difficult or nothing solid is lining up on the apps, that’s the perfect time to refocus your energy by making self-care a priority. When you are focused and at peace with yourself, you naturally invite good things to come your way. Lean into the little things that make you happy, like going on your favorite walking route or making your favorite meal. This really can work — like it’s worked for Aguilar, who says, “I find that the times that I attract love are when I am in love with life, doing what makes me happy.”

If you’re not ready to show that love to yourself yet, start by complimenting those around you. Instead of being annoyed that no one on a dating app is reaching out to you, take initiative and send a nice message about someone’s bio or photos. Once you start giving out compliments and admiration, you might even start to receive it back. Use that as the groundwork for loving yourself.

“Love yourself, love those around you, give love and receive love. Have belief and certainty that it will come while also taking action towards it,” Belle says.

4. Use Affirmations

Although you can manifest at any time and as much as you’d like, Belle says there are heightened times when you can connect with the universe on a deeper level: during a full moon, right after waking up, and just before going to sleep. Full moons represent new beginnings, and manifesting around your sleep schedule is a good way to keep your manifestation practice on track. Set time to say what you’re grateful for each morning and what your intentions are during the day. Be clear about how you plan to show love and positivity and then try to enact it during the day.

If you want to manifest a relationship, Belle suggests using the following affirmations:

  • "I am worthy of a healthy, loving relationship."
  • "I allow myself to be loved and to give love."
  • "I radiate love."
  • "I welcome love into my life."
  • "I deserve the most wonderful relationship with my soulmate."
5. Use Physical Objects

There are so many tools out there that can help add to your manifestation ritual. “It's all about what allows you to feel at your highest vibrational self, whether that be lighting a candle while you meditate, pulling some oracle cards for yourself, keeping a gratitude and/or manifestation journal, or using crystals,” says Belle. Find what feels inspiring to you.

6. Don’t Get Discouraged

“It's important to not become needy, impatient, or try to control the details and outcome in the manifestation process,” says Belle. Of course, we’re all impatient beings, but getting something as powerful and magnetic as love may take some time. “Manifestation is about setting an intention, but not controlling the outcome. It’s putting your wish out there, but not holding on too tight to it that you suffocate it.”

She continues, “Things happen and challenges rise, but that's part of this human experience and journey,” says Belle. “Know that your past does not define you, nor does it define your future. Just be patient, show gratitude, work on self-awareness and self-love, believe and know that all happens for a divine reason for you.”

With time, your dreams will turn into your reality.

Experts:

Mia Belle, certified life coach and success coach

Xandrine Aguilar, a manifestation and empowerment coach

Maria Concha, manifestation coach