Breakups suck. You didn't need me to tell you that. Everyone knows they do. But, there are things you can do to make them suck just a bit less.
It's never easy to figure out exactly how to get over someone, and every relationship and breakup is different, of course, but there are certain things you can start doing right now, even in the middle of your breakup, that will make you feel a whole lot better.
Don't get sad. Get empowered. Here's how:
1. Start A New Fitness Routine
OK, OK. It's a little bit of a cliche to start a new workout routine or join a gym just after a breakup. But it's a cliche for a reason: It works!
Exercise releases endorphins that make you happy. By starting something new, you'll also feel good about your body and what you are doing for it, and your overall mental health will improve. Not only that, but one huge benefit of exercise post-breakup is that it'll make you totally exhausted. You can't cry or binge on junk food if you can't stay awake, amirite?
I love exercising no matter what, but I do find that at hard times in my life, it's especially important for me to either keep my routine or start something new that's even harder than what I was doing before. And forget that whole "revenge body" idea — do it for yourself only.
2. Ask For More Responsibility At Work
It's true you probably don't feel much like working when you can't even think straight because you are so sad. Welp, too bad, because my next piece of advice is to actually ask for more responsibility at work.
I know it seems like kind of a dumb thing to do now, but work is the one thing many of us really can't slack off on. Whether there are student loans to pay off or just bills to get through, we gotta make those dolla dolla bills.
That's why asking for more responsibility at work is actually a great strategy to help you get through a breakup. It'll take over your mind and keep you occupied — even when you don't want to be — and who know? Maybe it'll result in a nice raise or promotion for you eventually.
If you legitimately hate your job and everything about it, you have to find another way to keep yourself occupied during a breakup — preferably something that makes you get out of your head, too. Enter: volunteering.
Now, I'm not suggesting you only volunteer temporarily as a way to mend your broken heart and then forget about it. I'm suggesting that you get outside of your head and realize that a breakup, while awful, really isn't the end of the world and that volunteering, for good, will help people besides yourself.
There is a lot going on in the world outside of your life (sorry to break the news!), and now might be a good time to give yourself some tough love and remember that. Do some research. Find a cause that you care passionately about and go for it.
4. Take A Class
So, not everything you do during this time has to be totally altruistic. Have you ever wanted to learn a new language? Maybe you'd like to play a new sport. Or, maybe you just feel like being sexy AF and learning how to pole dance your butt off.
Do it all. Taking a new class will force your brain to engage in a new activity in a new way, and it'll keep your neurons firing and active. It'll also force you to get out of your own head and out of your house. And you may even meet some cool, new friends from it!
If there's something you've wanted to do for a bit but you just haven't found the time, make the time now. Whether you are in the middle of a breakup or just out of one, a new skill or activity will help you get outside of your comfort zone and move on even faster.
5. Get A Therapist
The mother of all things you can to do empower yourself, and one of my personal favorites, is to get a therapist.
Forget any BS notions you have of only weak people needing therapy. Those are myths that come from our culture — one that hasn't been very receptive to mental health needs until just recently. The truth is that most of us go through some really terrible things, and therapy is a great way to deal with them.
Not only that, but choosing to make the decision to go to therapy for yourself is incredibly empowering. You are deciding that you wouldn't mind talking to someone about life's problems, so you went to get help for yourself.
I am a big fan of therapy and believe that we should all see a therapist for at least a little bit in our lives (or maybe a longer bit). After all, our parents try really hard, but most of them screw us up somehow, and what better way to deal with that than with some healthy therapy? If you've never tried it, you'll likely be pleasantly surprised.
Breakups can be really tough on our psyches, but they aren't the end of the world. There are lots of things you can do to feel empowered when you're dealing with the brunt of it. The important thing to remember is that you will move on and feel better eventually.
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