4 Easy Ways To Ask Someone Out IRL When You're Totally Overwhelmed With Nerves

by Alison Segel
Emmanuel Hidalgo/ Stocksy

Let me surprise you with a fact that all women should know: Men like to be hit on. They like when you ask them out. And if you're not going after what you want, you aren't getting what you deserve in the love department.

Mike Goldstein, founder of EZ Dating Coach and creator of How To Text Men During The Day: What Not To Do and What To Do, told Elite Daily:

93 percent of men are afraid to approach women. That number is massive. That means if you stand around, you only have access to 7 percent of the male population. Thus, you should be more proactive with your love life.

This means that if you've been waiting around to meet the love of your life, you might be waiting around forever, because he could be too intimidated to talk to you. But look at you! You are cool, smart, and beautiful. I'd be intimidated to talk to you, too.

While it would be great if men could just buck up and do all the work in the courting department, there's no reason you can't go after what you want in all aspects of your life. Plus, what's the worst that could happen? You're not going to die... unless you're asking a guy out on the edge of a cliff, and he says no and pushes you off. And I'm pretty sure that scenario is very unlikely.

You know what, though? Life is short. If you like a guy, ask him out. Making the first move is bold, confident, and hot. Who doesn't want to be confident and hot?

So here are some ways to ask someone out in real life, even if you're totally overwhelmed with nerves. Because you deserve that other 93 percent of the male population, right?

1. Use The "Extra Ticket Trick"

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There is literally a great Wiki How article on how to ask men out, and it includes the "extra ticket trick," which I've actually read about before.

Basically, you buy two tickets to a male-friendly activity, like a movie, sporting event, concert, whatever — any activity other than the ballet or Magic Mike XXL in Vegas. When you find a guy you're interested in, you tell him that you have an extra ticket to an event because your friend ended up canceling on you last minute. Then, invite him to go with you if he'd like.

It's a casual way to ask a guy on a date without seeming desperate or overly aggressive (even though you are an absolute psycho who bought the ticket with the intention of inviting him and then lied about it)!

2. Plan A Netflix Night

I once met a guy at a bar and found out that we both had an interest in truly horrible movies, like The Room, for example (which is currently being redone as a film called The Disaster Artist, starring Seth Rogen and James Franco).

I thought the guy was super cute, and obviously, we had a ton of stuff in common. So instead of asking him out to dinner or drinks, I invited him over to my house for a bad movie marathon. We watched as many movies as we could that scored a 5 percent or lower on Rotten Tomatoes.

Netflix nights are a perfect, low-pressure date idea, especially if you and your crush have shows or movies that you like in common. Plus, a Netflix night is the perfect date if you're interested in a make-out sesh, too, obviously.

3. Use Your Mutual Interests As An Idea

Do you both like art? Ask your guy on a date to a museum to see a new exhibit that just came to town. If you were invited to a gallery opening, invite your crush to go with you.

If your favorite band is coming into town, go together. Share the same favorite sports team? You get the point.

By focusing on your mutual interests, you make it more about your hobby than the date, which takes off some romantic pressure and can help ease the general pressure you might feel about asking a guy out. Although, let me remind you again that it is totally OK for women to ask men out. It's confident. Men like confidence! Everyone likes confidence!

4. Have A Group Date

Studio Firma/Stocksy

I get it. Sometimes, asking a guy out for a one-on-one date can be truly terrifying or it can seem embarrassing. The risk of rejection can feel overwhelming. What if he says no, then points out every one of my flaws, and then all of my ex-boyfriends show up and proceed to tell me all the things I did wrong in our relationships?! I'd better just avoid love in general!

Well, instead of just spending the rest of your life alone because you're afraid to ask a guy out, maybe invite him out to a group hang instead. If one of your friends is having a party, invite your crush and some of his friends to come along. If you meet a guy you're vibing with at a bar, you can invite him and his group to a second location with your friends.

A group date keeps things low-key. Plus, everyone is mingling, so there's no conversational pressure. And who knows? You might even end up hitting it off with one of his friends instead. Love is crazy!

Listen, if you're asking a guy out, there's no need to be nervous. In fact, you should totally feel empowered. You're deserving of that happiness, and if you see something you want and like, then, girl, go out and get it.

I mean, what's the worst that could happen?

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