I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm a f*ckgirl.
It's not a label I sheepishly wear tucked underneath my leather jacket. I rock it front and center for the entire world to see. I'm out of the f*ckgirl closet, and I'm proud AF.
I invite f*ckgirls from all around the planet to join me here in Manhattan next year for a wild f*ckgirl pride parade.
F*ckgirls aren't the same as f*ckboys. F*ckboys are clueless, spineless little losers with bad taste in music and issues with hygeine. F*ckgirls are the exact opposite. F*ckgirls have backbones built from steel, see the world as it really is and have killer taste in everything, especially music.
We're really just girls who aren't afraid to say f*ck you. Yeah, f*ck you, you stupid f*ckboy, and f*ck your stupid f*ckboy rules (all stupid rules were created by f*ckboys).
So if you don't like being told what to do, attach zero guilt to getting what you want, have an unwavering thirst for justice, refuse to stroke the male ego, have no problem taking what's rightfully yours and don't give a flying f*ck about getting married and having children before the age of 30 -- you just might be a f*ckgirl, too. Which is awesome. Being a f*ckgirl is a blessing.
F*ckgirls are never to be confused with mean girls. F*ckgirls have hearts of gold. In fact, the mean girls are usually scared sh*tless of f*ckgirls because they know we will f*ck them up if they're mean to someone we love.
Speaking of love, f*ckgirls date and love in a very specific, non-traditional ways. We don't follow the "rules." In fact we don't even know what the rules are, because we tend to space out when rules are being implemented.
So if you've found yourself falling in love with a f*ckgirl OR maybe wanting to try out f*ckgirl dating tactics (we DO always score whoever we want), there are a few things you need to know:
We never chase after anyone.
Remember how I spoke earlier about f*ckgirl pride? F*ckgirls, for better or for worse, have a sh*t ton of pride.
If we like you, it's rare we will ever tell you. We inherently understand that no one is worth chasing after, so we prefer to just sit back and let the ~good things~ come to us. (They always have and always will.)
We might send you a subtle signal that we're mildly interested, like embarrassing you in public, or eye-f*cking you from across the bar, or boldly flirting with the bartender in front of you -- but that's all you're getting, babe. As my mother always told me, “Throw em' a bone and let them bring it back to you.”
And trust me, kittens: My mother is the queen f*ckgirl. She's never to be questioned.
We love hard.
Sometimes, f*ckgirls can come across as cold-hearted creatures, but that's only because we save our warmth for those who deserve it. We're not going to bat our lashes and open up to just anyone. We save our secrets for special people.
But damn, when we love, we love hard. We're passionate beings who will love you with every fiber of our f*ckgirl being. Because we don't fear love. We understand that love can hurt, and that love can come and love can go, but we're OK with that. Because f*ckgirls are strong girls. We know that love can't kill us, and the inevitable pain will be temporary.
Warning: Once you've felt the intense, intimate, deeply passionate love of an f*ckgirl, you won't ever be able to go back to dating regular girls. Because experiencing f*ckgirl love will change you forever. Nothing will ever compare, and you will be addicted to difficult, hell-raising, infuriating-but-fabulous f*ckgirls for life.
We can turn cold fast.
While we love hard, we can turn cold on you pretty quickly. If you ever f*ck us over, cheat, lie or just turn into a controlling assh*le, we will leave you so fast your head will spin. Even if we love you.
We understand that love isn't enough, and we're not going to waste a second of this precious life on someone who isn't amazing, authentic, accepting, loving and most importantly: honest.
We lay it all out there.
If you're scared off by my incredibly close relationship with my family, my loaded past or the twisted thoughts that keep me up at night, I want to know now. Because I don't want to go on a second date with someone who can't handle all the sides of me.
Yeah, I'm sweet, but I need to know you can handle the spice before we move on to the dessert.
We wear whatever the hell we want.
Don't ever tell a f*ckgirl how to dress. Just don't. We don't care if you think our sheer dress is too much for daytime. We don't care if we're overdressed or underdressed.
For instance, my fellow f*ckgirl at Elite Daily, Sheena, lives in sneakers. Don't tell her to put on a pair of heels. She'll just roll her eyes and walk away, never looking back in your direction again. She rocks them with fancy dresses, and she rocks them with jeans.
I like my mega platforms. Don't tell me I can't walk around the city in my impractical shoes.
When we give you our word, we f*cking mean it.
When a f*ckgirl tells you she loves you, she really f*cking loves you. A f*ckgirl physically can't lie. Lying is against everything a f*ckgirl stands for.
So if we give you our precious word, trust it, baby. We might be wild, we might be unabashedly sexy and coy and flirtatious, but we have an epic moral compass we carry with us everywhere we go.
Know that at the end of the crazy, we'll only being coming home to you and only you.