Single ladies, whether you like it or not, wedding season is upon us.
Before you collectively sigh/cry/complain about having to go to these things while your own love life is in the crapper, hear me out. Weddings are not only kind of fun, but they're also a great way to meet people. As ironic as it is, by going to a celebration for other people in love, you could very well meet the love of your life, too.
I have a love/hate relationship with weddings. I love them because they're a great excuse to dress up, get unreasonably hammered and have a blast. Last weekend, I attended a family friend's wedding, and I'm going to ANOTHER one this weekend. There's just no way around them in when you're in your twenties. Everyone's gettin' hitched.
And whether you're bitter or happy for your newlywed friends, you still have to put on a happy face for them, because no one wants to hang around a glum chum -- especially not the hot men at the wedding.
Allow me to explain. I was wearing a beautiful white Indian outfit to this shindig. I felt like a princess. My outfit -- along with a couple of glasses of rose -- gave me the confidence to walk right up to the tall, handsome guy I'd had my eye on since walking in and seduce him.
(That's us on the left. We're a good-looking hypothetical pair, no?)
OK, so he and I didn't actually end up doing anything, but I did in fact seduce him to the point where he wanted to know more about me. We ended up exchanging numbers, and now I've got him on backlog for when I feel like going on a date, so it's a win-win situation.
I get how emotionally draining weddings are. "Forever the bridesmaid, never the bride" is a wildly played-out role in romantic comedies that isn't exactly fun to play IRL. But instead of dwelling on your singledom, why not have fun with it, the way I did this past weekend?
So cheer UP, single girl. Let me teach you how to seduce the hottest guy at the lit wedding you're currently RSVPed to.
1. Lock eyes with him from the very beginning.
This may seem like common sense, but men are stupid. They literally don't know what a woman wants until she slaps him in the face with a dose of "painfully obvious."
Also, keep in mind that like you, there are a ton of other thirsty AF single girls there looking for some hot man candy for the night, so by eye f*cking him before anyone gets too drunk, you're half-sealing the deal with him and weeding out the competition.
Being unapologetic about your interest in him is crucial here. This is not the time to be shy! You probably spent hours wiggling into something beautiful to wear, and maybe you even got your hair and makeup done. You've come this far; don't waste all that effort.
I don't care if you don't have rhythm. Fake it if you don't. You want to give off the vibe that you're fun-loving and don't take things too seriously; the hottest guy is not going to be interested in you if you're being that cold-looking girl standing in the corner judging everyone who's dancing like no one's watching.
When it's turn-up time, you better be dancing like there's no tomorrow, swingin' them hips and droppin' that booty, or else I can't help you. Bonus points if you have a go-to move that shows off just how much of a BAMF you are. Mine is Drake's signature fist-and-groove move from "Hotline Bling," which I use for every song. Somehow, it brings all the boys to the yard -- I mean, uh, dance floor.
Again, confidence is the key here. Are you starting to notice a theme?
3. Touch up frequently.
Yes, you're going to get hammered. Yes, so will he. But that is no excuse to look like a groundhog who just crawled out from hibernating in a hole. Powder that face, perfect that pout and be on nip slip patrol. Weddings are like the Target department store on Black Friday: You gotta keep an eye on the best deal so no one else snatches it from you. Single women can be RUTHLESS at these things.
Be the woman who stands out. OWN your beauty. Don't let your foundation get all blotchy just because you dropped it low one too many times to “Work.” I'm not saying you have to look perfect all night (it's hardly possible), but at least stay presentable. There are ways to do that without sacrificing comfort. Like, if your hair is starting to look sus because it's sweaty from dancing too much, pin it up into a chic, classy high bun. The high bun is great for dancing.
And if you happen to be touching up alongside other single women in the bathroom, don't let them know your plan to seduce the hot dude. Doing that will only make them want him more, which is bad for you. Keep your eye on the prize.
4. Mingle with his friends.
No guy wants to get to know a girl who comes off as frigid. Let him know you're the kind of girl who's always down to hang in good company, even if that good company is a bunch of dudes you've just met. Introduce yourself to his friends and get to know a little about them; it'll affirm to him that you're open-minded and down to get to know him, too. Just don't flirt and low-key hit on the friends like I kind of did (LOL).
Everyone loves a social, outgoing girl, so be the girl you are when you're around your girlfriends.
At the end of the day, the hottest guy at the wedding isn't going to want to go home with you because you're hot. He's going to want to because you're cool and know how to have fun. So let loose.