Break Down My Guard: I’m Only Hard To Love Because I Love Too Hard

by Lauren Martin
I like people too much, or not at all.

-- Sylvia Plath

There are many different facets of women. If I had to boil them down to just two, however, it would be the women who are loved and the women who love too much.

It’s a sad dichotomy. The woman who is loved is sometimes the woman who doesn’t always deserve or appreciate that love, yet the woman who is ready to love with everything in her being is left without someone to give it to.

We live in a world of moderation. We’re accustomed to shunning things that are out of line, far from the norm and over our threshold. We like things we can chase and women who keep us guessing.

Why though? Why is the woman who is ready to love you the woman you’re not ready to love? Why do you like to keep the things that are good for you so far away from you? Why do you fear the woman who loves too hard?

Like most things, you're scared of the work. You're scared someone might make you feel something deeper than you're ready to feel. You're scared someone might push you to your limit or make you see things in yourself you're not ready to see.

Most importantly, you’re scared you’ll let her love you and then forget what it’s like to live without that love.

So for all the women out there who are ready to give love but are getting nothing in return, just remember, one day, you'll find someone who is ready to accept the love you have to give. Until then, pity the fools who are content only to receive what little love they can get.

I’m hard to love because I’m the opposite of simple

If you want simple, find a woman who will tolerate you. If you want easy, find a woman who will follow you.

Whatever you do, however, don’t find a woman who will love you with every burning bit of her being. A woman like that will never be easy.

I’m hard to love because I won’t stand for boring

If you want that all-consuming, can't-eat, can't-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over-the-fence, World Series kind of love (yes, that was an "It Takes Two" reference), you're going to have to expect to go in all the way.

Nothing worth taking was ever worth sleeping through.

I’m hard to love because I want the same as I give out

No woman is looking for a great, unrequited love. She wants the whole thing. She wants the passion on your end as well as hers.

I’m hard to love because I'm hard to follow

If you want to chase someone, look for a girl. If you want to love someone, look for a woman.

A woman is no longer in the mood to play games. She wants to get right down to the good stuff, and if that means leaving you behind, so be it.

I'm hard to love because I'd rather be alone than half loved

If you're only going to give back half of what she's giving you, she'd rather be alone. It's a simple math equation, and she's not trying to end up with a fraction.

I'm hard to love because my passion is seen as obsession

Obsession is not the same as passion. Since when did having passion become a negative quality? Since when did caring about someone or something too much become cause for reevaluation? A woman with passion is a woman with substance.

I'm hard to love because I don't conform to what you want

I am who I am, and if you're not ready to receive what I'm willing to give, then I'm better off without you.

Love isn't about quantity and measured doses; it's about mutual respect and appreciation for what the other is willing to give.

I'm hard to love because I scare you

I make you scared because you don't like going outside your comfort zone -- even if love should make you more comfortable than you've ever been.

I show you a new side to yourself and the world you're not mature enough to handle yet. Didn't you know fear lets you know when something is worth it?

I'm hard to love because I want it all

If refusing to settle for anything less than that one big love means being single, so be it.

A woman who is ready for the big time love is a woman who isn't going to give up on it just because the next guy is willing to meet her halfway. She's waiting for the man or woman willing to go all the way with her.