A toxic relationship or marriage can usually be avoided in the majority of cases. Yes, I know people and the relationship dynamics change with time and familiarity, but the signs are always there. All it takes for you to notice them is a little attention and an objective eye.
Here are four types of boyfriends you need to stay away from:
1. Mr. Perfect
Pluses: He's a true charmer, takes care of himself and portrays a successful image.
Minuses: He's dominant, selfish and hard-hearted.
Characteristic traits: Intelligent, ambitious, egotistic, narcissistic and arrogant.
Mr. Perfect can easily fool you. His appearance is dashing. His shirts are flawlessly ironed, his shoes are sparkling and his hair is always trimmed up. He looks great and knows it.
But, his perfection does not stop on his looks because this guy knows everything and does everything the right way. He is ambitious and confident. He probably has a cool job in a dazzling office, and he has some good money coming his way.
When you start a relationship with him, you truly believe you're lucky. Hell, you might even think he is Mr. Right. Indeed, this kind of guy is not easy to find. But, don't rush to conclusions. This guy can really make your life miserable.
You are never good enough for him because no woman will ever be. So, don't expect praise, support and too much affection. Don't be surprised if he asks you to lose some pounds or change your dress style.
The worst thing about him is probably that despite the endless love he has for himself, he's unable to spare any of it for others. Indeed, Mr. Perfect might seem to like and even care about you, but terms like “altruism” and “significant other" have no real meaning in his vocabulary.
Alas, egotism knows a new dimension with Mr. Perfect. He is all that matters, and everything is about him. He will not shrink back from using and abusing other people (including you) to reach his goals and enhance his life. Success does have its price, and this guy is willing to trade you for it. Finally, it's only a matter of time until he will make you feel insecure, inferior, dependent and truly lonely.
2. The Real Man
Pluses: He has a leadership spirit, and he's responsible and resourceful.
Minuses: He's controlling, authoritative and even ignorant.
Characteristic traits: Insightful, altruistic, dignified, self-willed and obstinate.
Similar to Mr. Perfect, the “real man” is intelligent and ambitious. Yet, he doesn't care much about his looks, as he feels it's his reputation that matters. The value he most treasures in life is his manliness, and sadly, the quality he mostly appreciates in a woman is obedience.
The “real” man is apparently a guy you can count on. He's not afraid to take on some responsibility and provide for his lady. Therefore, he engages easily in relationships and is a pretty good partner if the woman “knows her place.”
The whole problem is that the “real man” does not want a modern-day woman who can challenge and complete with him. He is still anchored in the traditional mindset that the man is the “head of the household,” the one who is supposed to call all the shots and provide for the family. Hence, he will not accept a partner who earns more than he does and is opinionated, self-reliant and openminded.
His buddies mean the world to him, and he will be there for them whenever asked. Yes, this guy will also support you, but only so you'll become "the perfect housewife." If you have anything else on your mind, know that with the “real man,” there's no place for personal and professional growth.
He is conservative in thinking trying to change things will only make it worse. "You're my woman, and I'll take care of you. Things are great, why would you want to change that?" is something he would typically say.
3. The Fatalist
Pluses: He's a sweet talker, persuasive and an artist.
Minuses: He's whiny, disgruntled and defensive.
Characteristic traits: Clever, lacks ambition, lazy, fatalist mindset, irresponsible, immature and dissatisfied.
The fatalist is the guy most women fall for because he has a way with words. He is the artist type who knows how to sweet-talk a lady and tell you precisely what you want to hear. Yeah, he is persuasive and quite cunning in seducing you.
He has a talent to portray himself as the most innocent, yet unlucky guy on Earth. He'll make you feel almost obliged to take care of him. This man really needs a lot of support. In a relationship, he is a greedy taker and a cheap giver. Don't blame it on him, though. He simply doesn't have much to give to anybody, not even to himself.
If he manages to keep a stable job, he is always dissatisfied of all the things he needs to do. No one treats him right, and nobody can understand him. His past is just a series of misfortunes, which are none of his fault, of course. He doesn't do anything to either deserve it or to change it.
He is the universal victim of circumstances and other people. Hence, he always has an excuse ready and someone to blame. Finally, the fatalist is that boyfriend who will suck the life out of you and then make you feel guilty for it.
He is the man who will take everything and give nothing back, the one who expects great things to happen to him, but doesn't raise a finger toward them. He is the chump who dreams big, but lives low. On top of it, he's also disgruntled about his dream.
4. The Eternal Bachelor
Pluses: He's a skilled seducer, well-groomed and successful.
Minuses: He's a commitment-phobe, womanizer and fickle.
Characteristic traits: Smart, funny, sociable, immature, inconsistent and unreliable.
This guy has had lots of women in his life. The acquired experience accounts for his perfect skills in and outside the bedroom. He is smart, funny and knows how to make you feel like you're in a heavenly love nest. Yeah, everything seems perfect, smooth and sweet, until you start wondering why this awesome guy hasn't walked down the aisle yet.
When the time comes to take things to a whole new level, he seems less interested in you. Before you know it, he gives you a lame excuse and vanishes into thin air. Don't blame yourself, though. This guy's alarm clock is set to go off the moment he's about to enter a real and meaningful relationship. Yeah, he is the ageless Peter Pan who will never be ready to let a real woman enter his world.
This list is not merely exhaustive, and the above types of boyfriends are not exclusively characterized. However, these are the most common negative traits of present-day boyfriends who create toxic relationships. Want to be happy? Then make sure you keep your eyes opened.
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