14 Types Of Rebound Guys You'll Definitely Encounter After A Breakup
After most breakups, we women eventually go through a time where we decide to get back into the dating game.
When this happens, there are stereotypical rebound guys we will unfortunately come across and agree to grab coffee with.
So, for all you women battling your way through the dating life, here’s a list of 14 of the most cliched guys you should watch out for as you mend your broken heart:
1. The Ex-Boyfriend
We’ve all done it, and there’s no shame in admitting this.
While you’re attempting to put your broken heart back together, it makes sense to run into the arms of someone who used to comfort you.
However, going on a date with the ex-boyfriend is like using the same towel for two weeks straight.
Yeah, you’re just using it to dry yourself off after you shower. But it’s still kind of gross.
Laundry exists for a reason.
You should move on to a new towel, and toss this old one into the hamper.
2. The Princess
This is the guy who needs you to brush your teeth in the morning before he gives you a morning kiss.
He complains about your roommates staying up until 1 am, laughing and keeping him awake before a "busy day at work tomorrow.”
He may even wear expensive polos and tell you about the exciting golf game he just played, or the amazing horse race he went to the other day.
Typically, this is the kind of pretentious jerk who sometimes makes comments about your weight or how those jeans are “a bit too tight.”
You’re better off without him because you’re the only one in the relationship who deserves to wear a tiara.
3. The Emotional Roller Coaster
"What do you want from me?"
I asked him this question twice a day, every day, for the nine days I could stand talking to him.
Nope. Just nope.
One day, it’s up and the next day, it’s down.
One day, he’s bringing you flowers and calling you his one and only.
The next day, you get snaps from his best friend of him doing body shots off a random woman at the bar.
Why do you exist in my life?
Do yourself a favor and delete him from your life, before you find yourself in need of a seatbelt.
4. The Strict Booty Call
He’s the reason you had to drag one of your girlfriends to a health clinic after you got a weird rash in that "you know where" region.
Sure, he’s great on a dull Thursday night when all your roommates have left.
However, it’s much better to open a bottle of wine and watch "Grey’s Anatomy" than have to answer those awkward questions with a strange doctor who has extremely cold hands.
The only good thing that comes from the strict booty call is the fact that you’re finally allowing yourself to re-embrace your inner sexual goddess.
5. The One Who Got Away
This is the guy who -- when you first met -- you honestly had no idea how much he would end up meaning to you.
It takes you a full three months of not seeing him to realize how extremely perfect he is.
At that point, he’s already posting photos in Cuba with his new, long-legged girlfriend.
You beat yourself up at night, wondering why you didn’t give him more of a chance when he was in your life.
You’ll always regret letting this one go.
However, he has taught you to appreciate the people in your life because you never know how long they will be there for.
6. The True Adult
He has an actual adult job, and a car that isn’t a broken-down Honda Civic.
The rent for his “adult-esque” apartment is paid for without any help from mommy and daddy, and the furniture isn’t secondhand.
But things won’t work out with this man because you’re still young.
You deserve to have the opportunity to stay out until 3 am with your friends. You shouldn’t have to feel like you need to report back to the hubby for dinner every night.
Sure, it’s nice to have your life together.
But you’re too young to have your life set, and dating this man will force you to have your plans carved into stone.
7. The Free Bird
You will never be able to tie this man down. He’s a free spirit.
He actually had a hand in inspiring you to be a little less rigid yourself.
He’s told you about some of his adventures and given you major wanderlust. He’s also given you some tips about how to backpack the world the right way.
This guy is the reason there’s the saying, “Mr. Right, but just not right now.”
He needs to take more time to find out who he is before he’ll be willing to commit to anything remotely long-term.
8. The Best Friend
He’s the kind of guy whose hugs feel like you're being wrapped in a baggy flannel shirt.
He knows all the fun spots to take you to, and all the right jokes to say.
He’s listened to you cry and picked you up from that sketchy bar when you were drunk.
The only problem? He’s just not ready for a relationship.
In the same way you need to take time to heal your wounds, so does he.
But it’s OK to have a date turn into a best friend.
In fact, this is exactly what you might need.
9. The Guy You Lowered Your Standards For
Remember that sleepover in high school, where you and your girlfriends made a checklist of all the things you wanted in a husband?
Well, this guy is certainly not on that checklist. He was a bad call on a low self-esteem night.
Sure, he’s going to make some woman very happy one day. But that woman is not going to be you.
It’s more than OK to have those standards you set out for yourself back in high school.
In fact, maybe it’s even time to add a couple of things to that list.
10. The Guy Who’s Way Out Of Your League
He's the model-esque type, with the perfect hair and a cute behind.
You guys probably met at a dimly-lit bar while your girlfriends were standing in the distance, making that “Girl! He’s the one!” face.
But after a couple of dates, you begin to realize he has an obscene number of mirrors in his apartment, way too many trophies lining his walls and no other skills except for flexing his biceps.
But dating this guy is not without its perks.
You now get to show his pictures to your friends at parties and say, “Yeah, I got with that.”
11. The Guy You Date As A Favor To A Friend
While you're at a party your friend has dragged you to, she finally introduces you to her new man and his best friend.
Little do you know, she plans on abandoning you and disappearing for the night with her man.
So, little old single you starts to think, “Hey. Maybe it’s fate that brought me and this guy together.”
So you and him talk (and talk and talk). But after what seems like an eternity, the illusion of fate begins to fade.
You start to see you’re clearly an eight, and he’s a two.
But hey, he knew all seven erogenous zones Monica mentions in "Friends," so I guess that counts for something.
12. The Stoner
His apartment constantly smells like stale pizza, and he probably has some non-mainstream animal like an iguana or a rabbit.
He keeps asking you if you want to smoke with him, even though you’ve told him six times you don’t touch drugs.
He may even call you by the wrong name, and then insist you said your name was Jessica when you met the previous week.
Basically, this is the guy you can officially call “the lowest of the low.”
Feel confident knowing it can’t get any worse than this.
13. The Sugar Daddy
He takes you to expensive restaurants, buys you nice gifts and even tells his guy friends all about you.
However, there’s just something off.
He appears to have no attraction to you physically, and you may even think he’s merely getting enjoyment out of having someone to spend money on.
You’re not even sure if this would ever lead to something more than just expensive steak dinners.
14. The Guy Who Has Been Waiting For His Chance
This is the sweetheart who knew you before your tragic single days.
He would always ask you to hang out while you were with your boyfriend, but you never seemed to have the time.
So here you are, finally giving him a chance.
Prove to the world that nice guys don’t always finish last.
But when all is said and done, the most important person to date after a relationship ends is yourself.
This is the healthiest relationship you can get into after having your heart broken.
I can’t empathize enough how important it is to make yourself your new partner.
Treat yourself, dedicate time for yourself and take the time to rebuild yourself back together.
Before you can truly, fully give time and love to another man, you need to take the time to do you again.