I start about a third of my articles with the sentence, "I can't say it enough: Dating is really hard." And TBH, I have a point.
Because, you guys, it's TRUE!
The never-ending, sometimes-dusty and barren dating abyss can be full of trolls, jerks, clingers and liars. Most of us don't trust "dating" as far as we can throw it.
So how, then, are we supposed to shine in this pile of mediocrity and soul-sucking tango?
Yup, you heard that right. His aim was to invent tacky, cheesy (and slightly off-color?) pick-up lines and, I guess, hope for the best.
Imgur user Beckdel took to the internet to share some of the most hilarious ones, including my favorite: "Hey girl, are you a flight of stairs? Because my heart is pounding just looking at you."
Ah yes, poetry. The quickest way to some people's hearts, it seems. Here are some of his best and arguably most creative ones:
Is it just me, or is there, like, a country-rural theme going on?
The presumably female responder admitted to enjoying the hilarious pick-up lines, offering,
I thoroughly enjoyed those. The flight of stairs ome [sic] had me laughing for a good 5 minutes ... There must have been a lot of thought that went into those.
To be fair, she's probably right. Though my personal preference is to keep any sexual innuendos out of it, I haven't heard of any of these pick-up lines before, so this guy gets some points for originality, at least.
Things got away from me when he brought cars and truck stops into the mix, but the lady seemed to love it so... more power to him.
No telling if this exchange ultimately ended with a date and half-price appetizers at an Applebee's, but here's hoping.