In a recent blog post, internationally recognized relationship expert, Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein PhD, dropped some serious knowledge for any of us trying to answer the age-old question, "Is he just not into me?"
After writing about how to tell if a man is really in love with you, readers naturally wanted Dr. Bernstein to tell them about the opposite. How can you tell, for sure, he's just not that into you? The doctor didn't disappoint with his post outlining three sure-fire ways to tell whether or not a guy is just not into you.
Before we get into it, Dr. Bernstein wants to remind you of one thing: Know your value. It seems so simple, and it's one of those things we all think we have totally figured out until we fall head over heels for someone who probably doesn't treat us quite like he should. So, we settle. We start taking poop treatment from poop people who don't know our value.
Also, an important note from your girl here: JUST BECAUSE HE DOESN'T SEE YOUR VALUE DOES NOT MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE ONE.
With that out of the way, let's get right into it.
Here are the three ways you can tell if a guy isn't into you from a real-life relationship expert:
1. He's not the best texter.
He barely EVER makes the first move by shooting the initial text or making the first phone call. When you inevitably make the first move, you're lucky to get a half-assed response a few days later. Maybe he was "busy." Or maybe, he doesn't even bother with an excuse.
According to Dr. Bernstein, "[A] half-hearted effort with lame excuses as to why he drops the ball is a major sign that he's that not into you." Ouch.
2. His friends and family don't know you exist.
You meet up with him at 3 am (I'm going to go ahead and guess because that's the usual time the two of you meet up) at the bar with his friends. You guys have been hooking up for six months now, and you still have to introduce yourself to all of his friends.
They also still don't seem to understand you are with him in any capacity. In fact, this is the first time you're even seeing them. He usually prefers to just meet you at your place late at night.
This is a big sign of trouble. Dr. Bernstein explains, "If after a max of three months, he's not bringing you around any friends or family, it's a sign that your relationship is not moving in the right direction."
You want him to be showing you off, not hiding you away.
3. He tells you nothing about his personal life.
It's been months and months with this guy, and you still essentially know nothing about him. Maybe he's a secret agent. Maybe he's afraid to be vulnerable. Maybe he suffers from long-term memory loss.
Or maybe, most likely, he's just not that into you. When a guy shares things about himself, he is inviting you into his world because he sees the potential for you to become a part of it.
According to Dr. Bernstein, a guy who likes you wants to share details about himself with you.
When a guy shares about himself, he is inviting you into his world because he sees the potential for you to become a part of it.
Unfortunately, the flip side of that is not looking too bright for you.
Again, having all of that said, it is not the end of the world if a guy is just not that into you. Life will go on, you will still be an awesome whole person and you will meet someone way better who appreciates you for who you are.