I'm Not The Girl You Want Right Now, But The Girl You'll Need Later

by Sheena Sharma

I’ll never forget my first love.

Together we did great things, and we made one another stronger. We were the envy of everyone around us.

But we were also young and reckless, which happened to be two of our biggest faults, especially in our roles as relationship partners.

When you think of the perfect love, steady happiness, empathy and commitment are just some of the things that come to mind.

When you're young, you feel invincible, as if anything can happen. It's as if you possess the ability to make anything work.

Unfortunately, real life doesn’t always play out this way. Just because something works in theory doesn’t mean it will work in practice. We found each other at an inconvenient place.

It’s a fact of life that sometimes, you simply meet the right person at the wrong time.

And though devastation doesn’t begin to describe what I felt after what we had ended, I realized that to blame its denouement on his youth and foolishness was, well, young and foolish of me.

Maturity is a byproduct of having experienced the world. I could not and cannot be angry that we both still had so much more to do and so much more to see. Young love can be doomed before it even begins. Here's why:

You want quantity, but you'll need quality.

You want a handful of girls, not one single woman. You chase the immediate thrill and ego boost that lust brings because you think that's what makes a solid relationship.

You’ll learn that what makes a man doesn’t rest in numbers, but rather in the thoughtfulness of his actions and the depth of his kindness.

A man has unwavering devotion to what he does, what he says and for whom he provides.

You want unpredictability, but you’ll need stability.

Adventure, to you, means an adrenaline rush. It makes your heart beat fast and leaves you uncertain at every turn.

Growing older is a beautiful thing because adventure will manifest itself as something entirely different.

Adventure will mean further deepening an inextricable bond with another person. It will mean falling in love with her all over again when you smile at being able to finish her sentences.

You want superficiality, but you’ll need profundity.

You relish in kicking back with your boys and talking with them about things that are surface value in nature.

The truth is, you're afraid to touch on what's most important because what's most important is too daunting to you.

"I'll deal with it later," you say to yourself. Five, 10, maybe 15 years from now, though, you'll take solace in tackling grown-up problems head on.

And, you'll take pride in allowing yourself to do this with a helping hand from someone who loves you unconditionally.

You want escape, but you’ll need comfort.

A joint and the bottom of a bottle are a couple of your two closest friends. You confide in them because you’ve yet to discover whom you really are.

You’ll come to find that when faced with adversity, closeness with a partner is what will save you. You will finally open yourself up to someone and you will not be afraid of what she sees in you.

One day, you'll be ready for all of these things. You'll not only need them, but you'll want them, too.

But, time has never been on our side and it never will be. When you grow into these things, I will have found them with someone else.

And, if we happen to cross paths one day, I’ll wish you good luck and think back fondly on our young love.