An Open Letter To All My Exes On Valentine's Day
It’s Valentine’s Day, but worst of all it’s also throwback Thursday, which means Instagram is going to be flexing all day with girls’ pictures displaying them at the peak of their hotness -- which is the 10th grade. Don’t forget (we can’t) all the girls posting pictures pretending to be madly in love with their boyfriends and showing the world how happy they really are.
Unfortunately, that’s what the majority of people will do today – on top of being handed flowers, having rhythm-less sex and exchanging meaningless “I love you’s”. On the other end of the spectrum, you have the people who are alone and miserable on this occasion. They’re trying to do anything and everything to make themselves feel better in order to assuage their loneliness and lack of Prince Charming or Kate Upton by their side.
Insecurities start to take a toll, depression starts to hit and some people can't manage to comprehend why others seem to be happier on this day when they have no one to make them happy. I’m writing this article for you.
Sure, being alone on Valentine’s Day sucks. It sucks even more when you realize you are pretty much the only one out of everyone you know that has no one on this day. It makes people feel unworthy and unwanted, it’s just basic human nature, when you see so many people happy with someone else and you don't have the same thing.
It’s like being the odd kid out in the park when everyone else is playing dodge ball. But what you have to really ask yourself is: are those people really happy? Or, are they putting on an act for just one day?
Also what you need to understand is that if you haven’t found your perfect partner to spend Valentines Day with yet, it is not the end of the world. Use this time to reflect on yourself and become a better person, so that when you do meet that person, you are ready for it. Most of you are still most likely miserable, angry and hate everything that is going on around you today, which is understandable.
The first thing many do on a day like today is reflect on their exes whom they did actually love and are no longer in their lives. Which is why, instead of making you feel better about yourself right now, I would rather have us shift our attention to the people we love to blame everything on: our ex-lovers.
Below, I put together a letter to all my exes and made it as generalized and indeterminate as possible, attempting to tailor it to all of your experiences. It’s not as much of a crazy rant as you might think, but rather a thoughtful letter that shares both love and anger, as well as a farewell, which is what many need to understand.
You have to let these people out of your mind, forget about them, because they have forgotten about you. Take this day, this letter, as a turning point for you. Take it as a means of closure, leaving all your past loves in the past and moving forward.
I recall the first time I thought I experienced you. It was very early on, it started with a girl I had a crush on in the 6th grade, she was beautiful: light hazel eyes, dark hair and even some boob action at such a young age. This was also the first girl ever to break my heart by rejecting me. Then came my first Valentine’s Day, also at a very early age in elementary school, I moved on to a girl more in my league (who also happened to be the first of the girls to wear a thong to school).
I spent 23 dollars on a teddy bear and a box of choc0lates that I bought from a Duane Reade and brought to school to give to her. This relationship was also short-lived, as we parted ways shortly after, and she started dating someone older. These were my first two experiences with love, and I realize now it was because it seemed like the right thing to do.
Fast forward a bunch of years: losing my virginity, drunken nights, one night stands, joining the mile high club, and even having sex in a taxi. There came my first true, real love. This relationship was a long one, filled with a lot of great moments, but the bad ones outweighed the good ones, which meant after two years of too much fighting, it seemed like the thought of staying together forever was a figment of both of our naïve imaginations. But as any person would, I moved on.
Sure, the heartbreak was brutal, the depression did kick in, and so did countless one night stands to try to spite her, but eventually I matured and settled down again. This time was with a girl that fell in love with me and wanted to make things very serious, to the point where I didn’t think I was ready for it. So I fled like any coward would, because it seemed too early and too fast to get that serious with someone, especially when I had so much going on in my life.
Lastly, and most recently, came a girl that decided to “500 Days of Summer” me. She was everything I ever thought I could want in a girl and I was ready to give her the world and then some. I never thought I could possibly experience love again after the previous hardships, but she showed me that indeed I could. She was perfect, until she couldn’t get rid of her current guy for me -- so that was done.
This letter is for all of them, and all of your exes that you have had in your past that you might hate and hold a grudge against. I am here to tell you that you don’t have to. To the exes: you have broken hearts and especially mine. You have taken real emotions and turned them numb. You have done the unthinkable, but in retrospect I must say thank you for all the bad you have done and the hurt you have caused, because you have made me a better person today.
Sure, I am not perfect, I may have been a shitty boyfriend at times, taking a trip to Vegas without telling you or having a threesome while we were together, so can I really blame any of you for the outcomes and karma that I might experience? Of course not.
It was my decisions that caused your actions, which might have triggered some terrible karma along the way, and if I wasn’t going to hell before, I definitely will for having slept with a girl who had a boyfriend of four years on Valentine’s Day, a few years ago.
But through all of these experiences, I have learned not only about the bullshit feeling called love, but also about myself. You have helped me grow as a person, understand things better and you have shaped me into the man I am today -- someone with whom I couldn’t be happier.
You are even the reason Elite Daily exists, because after we broke up, I thought to myself, I needed to make something that would help time pass by faster and make you feel like shit after you see how successful I am. Sure many might spite their ex-girlfriends, but I am here today to thank them. I’m here to tell them that they have done a great job, even though they were pretty shitty.
Getting 500 days of Summer’d sucks, the only thing that I have learned from it is that you have to stop depending on other people to find happiness. I have realized that you have to find happiness within yourself, and then whomever you meet along the way is just a parallel to your happiness. That is the mistake people make: they think they need someone else to make them happy.
Anger is a natural result, but instead of letting the anger get to me, I channeled it into things that would actually benefit me in my life. Like picking up a hobby, studying psychology and learning more about life. And it’s brought me to where I am today.
Sure I’m alone on Valentine’s Day, but I must be honest, I couldn’t be happier. I wouldn’t trade any exes for anything, because where I am in my life mentally and my current stature is incomparable. When that right person does come into my life, that is when I will take them seriously, but it is safe to say that "summer" has ruined it for many. It will be the George Clooney way for quite a while until I can afford Kate Upton.
Lastly, thank you for making me the person I am today, helping me to understand my emotions, understand my life and understand myself. Without you I would never have this knowledge, and trust me, I am way happier than all of you are today -- because I am happy with my life and myself whereas all of you never were, always asking me for advice. Sucks to suck. Lastly, I wish you insight so that you can see yourself.
All The Best, Preston Waters