How To Create Meaningful Connections Through Deep Conversation With Her


The Art of Charm is a big fan of open-ended questions that lead to deep conversations. Getting in-depth with her is going to create emotional connections that have her remembering you as “the guy who gets her.” That’s one of the best take homes that you can leave her with at the end of the night. How do you create that type of connection? Honestly, it’s a lot easier than you probably think. These are five questions that get the door wide open for connecting with her.

“So what’s your deal?”

We love this one at The Art of Charm. It’s simple, effective and lets her choose what she’s going to tell you. This is the ultimate “open-ended question.” She’ll decide what her deal is... or maybe even ask you what you mean by that, allowing you to specify whatever it is you want to know a little bit more. The point is, you can learn a lot, both by what she tells you (the content of what she says) and what she chooses to talk about (the subject matter she picks). This is a killer way to show interest in her and get the conversational ball rolling.

“What are three things about you I wouldn’t guess by looking at you?”

This is another one that’s great because it allows her to choose what she wants to tell you. It also gets her thinking about qualities about her that are unexpected. With this simple question, you might learn things about her that many of her friends don’t know, and you’re certainly going to hear things that she normally wouldn’t share until three or four dates in. Best of all, you’re showing a pointed interest in who she is as a person, who she is underneath the exterior. Believe me, she’s going to notice (and love!) that.

“What do you like about your job?”

Too many guys ask the closed-ended version of this question, a.k.a. “what do you do for a living?” This shuts down conversation and sounds very pro forma. This question allows her to talk about her job and maybe even feel affection for it that she doesn’t normally. Let her tell you what it is that motivates her at work or even just how she’s able to tolerate it, day in and day out. Try and connect with what she has to say and fire back at her what it is about your job that you’re passionate about.

“Tell me a story about yourself.”

Most people like to talk about themselves. Even the ones who don’t generally don’t require a ton of prompting to get the ball rolling. Just ask her to tell you a story about herself. When she protests that she doesn’t have one, press her a little. You can almost certainly find a story of your own that will relate to the one that she just told you. This allows the two of you to connect quickly, while also amusing each other a bit -- a killer recipe for creating attraction.

“If you could be known for one thing, what would it be, and why?”

It’s a bit like a job interview question, but there’s a reason for that. Questions like this are very revealing in terms of what a person values, where they get their value from, what they are passionate about and what they want people to think of them. An interesting answer means a killer imagination.

These are five ways to start a conversation and five equally great ways to get the conversational ball rolling and get to know each other. Try one of these the next time that you go out and see how it changes how you operate.

Top Photo Courtesy: Wanmafia