It’s 2012--and with each passing year the world seems to revolutionize itself once more. Generation Y, our generation, has adapted and changed faster then any other generation prior. With technology becoming the focal point of all this change we can note specific ways in which modernization has impacted the dating scene—particularly in terms of cell phone use.
When your parents were still young bachelors and bachelorettes dating simply entailed a suitor taking a potential beau to dinner and a movie—the most clichéd course of a date possible. These dates were followed by ACTUAL PHONE CONVERSATIONS—can you believe that? Texting was yet to be implemented and communication was vocal instead of text-based. In our generation the most popular form of communication is text messaging, which allows one to circumvent potentially embarrassing gaffes.
Research has shown that 78% of communication between men and women is done via text messages and BBM today. That number is extremely high and shows how phone calls are rapidly approaching irrelevance as an efficient form of communication. Now you are judged on how well you can articulate yourself through a few words on a screen—decidedly easier, but the potential for slip ups is still there.
Our job is to ensure that as an Elite gentleman—a representative of Elite Daily—you understand proper mobile etiquette. Dating a girl has become all the more strategic as the two of you spend a notable amount of time interacting with a few words on a screen—a representation of the other’s ideas and feelings. Communication has almost become like a video game in that you must master the correct way to articulate yourself while ensuring her comfort. As she can’t hear your voice there are sometimes misunderstandings—particularly when it is unclear if you are serious—which can cause some serious confusion.
First, we shall begin with BBM. BBM is one of the biggest communication platforms available to the public. The ability to message anyone around the world and have it reach them within seconds is one of the biggest advantages it has. With a Blackberry communication becomes more and more important; a great part of your social life will depend on your etiquette over BBM. This might seem like a frightening scenario, but don't panic. Behold, the ultimate BBM Etiquette Guide that will help you keep a friend, close that business deal but probably most importantly: seducing your object of interest.
Your BBM-profile is an important aspect of the success of your BBM-identity. Putting a nickname is cool, as long as it's something you're referred to as. Examples would be Matt, Rich, Chuck or Bella. You remember those embarrassing hotmail accounts you set up as a teenager? Yes. Cute_little_gucci_girl77 or ILoveTupac86 seemed cool at the time, but this idiocy is now forbidden, so don’t even go there. You might wanna think about this one.
Putting last names is perceived as formal, so put it if you're planning to BBM with work-contacts.
Your profile picture is supposed to represent you--either a self-portrait or something you like in your life. Be careful though, you don't want a too "posing" or suggestive picture here. The picture will communicate your whole identity. Flashing your wealth will attract the wrong kind of girls.
The status message is to be used for mini-updates or quotes such as: “In St Barths, Just closed a big deal!” or “Carpe diem.” Avoid updating this field too often. Why? It's annoying. I repeat: It's annoying and will make it seem like your desperate for attention.
Also avoid putting "personal" messages here such as: “Jessica, you bitch how could you?! With my best friend?!” Like the old proverb goes: Don't air your dirty laundry in public.
Finally, pings are to be used scarcely and only in urgent situations.
The Video Game
The “video game” begins with you first acquiring her pin and subsequently trying to conquer her from there with the appropriate moves. Because BBM notifies the sender when a message is read it is important to go about this correctly. Reading a message and not replying within a reasonable amount of time is therefore considered rude. The term "Giving someone the R", is the BBM equivalent to giving someone the finger. Avoid this by trying to reply at your earliest convenience or in lack of response, offering an excuse.
BBMING is not SMS, but instant messaging. The communication is supposed to be quick, short and dynamic. Read and reply, unless you're planning to be rude. In this instance giving someone the R is an effective way of showing your dissatisfaction and is likely to frustrate the other person.
BBM is also one of the easiest ways to flirt with a girl. One can send her interesting pictures of something fun that you’re doing or of an island you have just landed in. You can lay down all the groundwork on BBM before you put your moves on her in person. Who can forget the smileys you can add, as everyone knows “bitches LOVE smiley faces.” Keep this limited to using 1 to 2 smileys a conversation, lest you seem desperate by excessive use of these emoticons.
As for SMS, the rules are a bit different. Because of the new upheaval and switching from Blackberry to iPhone many are not blessed with the communication tool of BBM. Thus they are forced to use SMS or, more recently, iMessage. Within this portal of communication the trick is being able to articulate yourself within the confines of the 160 character limit.
Keep conversation to a minimum and never “blah blah” away in never-ending messages, which causes sever thumb-ache when scrolling down. It makes people bored, annoyed, and confused. They won't get the message, as they wont read it.
It is just as important with SMS to make sure you respond within a reasonable time. Don’t ever respond too quickly, as it will make you seem overeager and desperate. Also don’t stretch your conversation beyond necessary communication—keep it concise and to the point. BBM has the advantage for flirting with a girl, but you can still finesse it through SMS if you do it correctly by following our mobile etiquette.
The trick with SMS is asking her a question. This way the conversation doesn’t get stale and puts the ball in her court. Questions spark conversations and your interest in her goings on will delight her—only serving to extend the life of the conversation.
Calling someone has become an ancient form of communication. Now, it’s likely the only person you call is your mother. When it comes to flirting with a girl keep this etiquette in mind, whether via SMS or BBM, and you will see success—we assure you.
Bonus: When a girl ends a conversation via SMS or BBM, here is your guide to what she actually means:
X : We are friends. Goodbye.
Xx: I am starting to like you more, but don't get any ideas.
Xxx: I am into you/ I want to have sex with you.
Xo: Bye girlfriend!
XoXo: I think I am Gossipgirl/Paris Hilton
Gnight: I wanna sleep now, and you're boring me.
Goodnight! : Cool talking to you, but I have to work tomorrow.
Bisous/Kisses: I'm making an effort to actually write out the word, so I like you/Respect you.
Ttyl: I am stressed/I don't have time for you
Anna Madsen | Elite.