Boys: Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em… especially the homegrown American ones, as full of sex appeal as they might be. Luke Bryan, anyone?
Even our "Super Bass" idol, Nicki Minaj, admits she’s “really got a thing for American guys.” However, their European counterparts are beating these local boys at many aspects of the dating scene.
Think of this as a call-to-action for American males who are losing out on amazing women, and who might not even realize it.
Sure, our countrymen can’t beat the sultry Europeans in the exotic accent category (unless you factor in the Boston accent, which I consider both sexy AND exotic), but they do have plenty of other assets— fluent English is an excellent start — to appeal to the well-traveled ladies of the world.
So why should these guys worry? In our über-global society, we all know that it’s easier than ever to connect with people from almost every country imaginable.
Those of us who’ve caught the traveling bug and have spent time abroad know the wide range of options out there.
When ladies like ourselves return home to the States, we often stuff a big feeling of disappointment into our luggage because we know that on the dating/romance spectrum, the guy who won’t stop talking about his gym addiction can’t compare to the one who invited us to the restaurant he owns in Rome.
What can be done? Short of changing your name to Silvio, adopting a few impressive, yet simple, strategies from the European players might help you dashing American gentlemen get that girl amidst the competition.
Here are a few suggestions for those guys with their eyes on a well-traveled woman:
1. Be genuinely interested.
Obviously, this is the number one rule of dating, no matter what country you’re in. Ask a meaningful question. Listen. Consider. Respond. That subtle level of communication is the key to connecting with anyone.
Guys from other countries are captivated by our beauty, of course, but they have other ideas than sex in mind when they’re having a conversation… even if it’s in a loud, sweaty bar.
2. Be interesting.
What’s exciting about your life? Yeah, we know your golf game was unreal last weekend, but imagine someone of the opposite sex asking you that question.
Does your answer contain sophistication, education, style or culture? Think about how you can convey how smart and worldly you are when you’re first meeting someone. This is something European guys do naturally, but I’m confident that boys from ‘Merica can learn to talk about themselves just as well.
3. If you invite, you pay.
One of my French guy friends once made this enlightening comment to me over a beer: “If I ask a girl to come for a drink with me, I consider it my treat.”
I’m certainly not saying a guy should pay every single time we hang out, but having that respect and consideration for the person you’re spending time with makes it special. Chivalry much? We like.
4. Don’t be intimidated.
Confidence: It’s that simple. When European dudes hear my accent, they ask me where I’m from. If they think I’m pretty, they’ll say so. We’re not scary -- really! Chances are, we’ve spotted you from across the room, too.
Women who fall for exotic men are probably cultured and have been around the block, meaning they are likely to possess traits like independence, courage and a sense of adventure. If you want us, we definitely appreciate the gusto it takes to introduce yourself. That swagger is HOT, people.
5. Go for what you want.
When I was walking down the street somewhere in France, a guy asked me for directions to a restaurant he was looking for. When I told him, he thanked me and then asked me to join him for lunch! Another time, I received a phone call from an acquaintance that, straightforwardly and sans awkwardness, asked me to have a drink with him that night.
I wish these situations weren’t so surprising, but I think it’s indicative of the digitally-focused American culture in which the vague “So what are you doing later…?” text reigns. I’m determined to bring this kind of directness back to the States!
Note: You May Never See Me Again
What cemented my feelings on having the YOLO mentality while spitting some game (for both guys and girls) was an encounter I recently had with a cute -- not creepy -- guy from South Africa (not Europe, I know, but it counts) who I met on my way home from a bar crawl.
He politely — and slightly tipsily — told me I was beautiful and asked if he could sit next to me. We had a really pleasant conversation as he asked me what I was doing in Europe, etc.
Admittedly, I was being a little "P.S. I Love You" and didn’t want to ruin the moment, so I declined when he asked for my number. Before he got off the bus, he said worriedly, “What if I never see you again?! [Sigh.] Goodbye, gorgeous girl!”
It took some serious cajones to do that, and this is how I think everyone should approach someone they’re attracted to. Sure, usually the point of interacting with someone is to establish some kind of connection with them, but what would you say if you were probably never going to see that person again?
How would your levels of openness and honesty change?
Good job, males of America! You’ve come a long way already since reading this little guide. I can’t wait to see how much improvement there’s been when I get home. See you at the airport, pint of beer in hand.
Photo via EuroTrip