'Game of Thrones’ Quotes To Shut Down A F*ckboy
I mean, there was a line mentioning a "top knot."
There were also no inexplicably naked women wandering around in the episode. The future is female in all of the right ways in Westeros.
Some of the dialogue felt heavy-handed and expository, but many of the characters had these perfect, mantra-esque musings that made me go "dayum." (Not including Ed Sheeran. Sorry, Ed.)
As I was watching, I realized that these call outs and truth bombs are also very applicable to the battlefield that is modern day dating. And since all f*ckboys watch GoT, here are five perfect quotes from Sunday's episode to shut down the next fidget-spinning, noncommittal dude you encounter:
1. "Everything before the word 'but' is horsesh*t."
Jon Snow shares this sage piece of wisdom he received from Ned Stark back in the day, and it's so real.
After your fourteenth date, when a f*ckboy tells you, "I really like you, but I'm not looking for a relationship right now," call him out with this gem.
Or maybe your man-boy says, "I'm sorry you feel hurt that I canceled on you last minute, but I was really exhausted from work." Forget everything that comes before that "but." He isn't that sorry.
Honestly, this is a great rule of thumb for life in general. If you are apologizing, stating your feelings, or trying to take responsibility for something, don't "but" in. The word is defensive and cancels out everything that comes before it.
Next that guy who always excuses himself with a "but [insert whine here]." There are plenty of Jon Snows out there who actually deserve your time.
2. "No need to seize the last word; I'll assume it was something clever."
Sansa says this to Peter Baelish, who is so not bae at all.
At Winterfell, Baelish/Littlefinger is all up in Sansa's grill and trying to manipulate (mansplain) her by asking her why she isn't happy when she totally calls him out with this awesome line.
F*ckboys are the kings of playing with language and making appeals to feelings in order to take the responsibility off of themselves.
Let's say you're finally done being toyed with by a noncommittal bro, and you tell him that you think it's best you don't hang out anymore. If he suddenly has all of these new feelings and questions for you — "What's going on, why haven't you been as happy with me?" — hit him with this.
He doesn't need to pull out all of the stops to have the last word; you've already made up your mind.
3. "Leave one wolf alive, and the sheep are never safe."
In one of the great cold openings on TV that I have ever seen, Arya gets her revenge on the Freys for killing her family at the Red Wedding. "Leave one wolf alive, and the sheep are never safe," she says as the entire hall of men (except the women) are poisoned by the wine she serves them.
This is a good one for when you run into your f*ckboy on a date with someone else.
No, I'm not suggesting you put eye drops in his martini and food poison him, but I do think when his date goes to the bathroom and he comes over to apologize to you at the bar, you can serve him this realness.
Are you officially dating this guy? He's cheating on you. I feel like Arya would be super suave and slip his date a note on a bar napkin telling her to get away from this wolf.
We sheep need to stick together.
4. "So there's no punishment for treason and no reward for loyalty?"
This is a good one for when you catch him flipping through Tinder in bed after you've just returned from the bathroom. (Because nobody likes a UTI.)
You have consummated with a Joffrey-level f*ckboy who needs to be called out before he gets you an Uber home.
Sansa uses this line to question her half-brother's leadership tactics. In her and Jon Snow's tense new partnership, she doesn't think he's doing the right thing by ignoring those who have betrayed the Starks along the way.
Fair enough. Loyalty should be rewarded, especially moments after you've been in bed together. So if your dude is getting borderline treasonous, hit him with this line and watch him squirm.
5. “You think you're fooling anyone with that top knot?”
F*ckboys love a good man bun. So when that guy who ghosted you a few years ago matches with you on Bumble and asks if you want to go out again, call him out on his strange new hairstyle.
The Hound, the grumpiest and realest character on GoT, uses this line to call out Thoros for the top knot he uses to disguise his baldness.
Take a page from the Hound's book and tell it like it is. I mean, after all, this guy hurt you, so this is not entirely mean.
F*ckboys need to be dealt with like the children they are; do like The Hound and clearly state how fully you are not buying his brand of BS.
Dating is hard and f*ckboys only make it harder, but remember that you can decide what you do and do not want to put up with in any relationship you are in. (Or half in.)
So next time you get caught up in something weird with a guy who doesn't put you first, be a Khaleesi and stop him in his tracks. You're not going to end up with someone who doesn't prioritize you anyways, so cut your losses because winter is here.
Next time a f*ckboy tries to white-walk back into your life, tell him "the North remembers."