Why I Hope The First Guy Who Meets My Parents Is The Last
I know this headline must be jarring and you probably have a lot of assumptions. Before you jump to conclusions about my “naive” thoughts on bringing my boyfriend home for the first time, I feel the need to clarify a few things:
1. I am not a 16-year-old girl who just brought her first boyfriend home to meet her parents. 2. I am not in love for the first time in my life, nor is this my first relationship. 3. I am not so desperate for a marriage that I'm clinging to the first guy I get along with.
Without going into much detail, I can tell you, for some reason or another, I never brought home any of the guys I've dated. For as long as I can remember, all I wanted was a normal, lasting relationship. I wanted someone to go on random adventures with, to simply hold my hand as we walked down the street and to bring home to my parents.
I never felt like my standards were too high, nor did I feel like I was particular about whom my parents met. I didn't plan to hold out until I found the person I wanted to marry, but it seems as though it worked out that way.
My parents have only met one guy I've ever dated, and I wouldn't want it any other way.
They don't have anyone to compare him to.
Everyone knows it's a bad sign if your significant other is comparing you to their ex. (It's typically a sign they haven't moved on.) What happens if I'm not comparing him to my ex, but my parents are?
I don't need to hear about what's better or worse than the last. My exes are my exes for a reason. If I'm not talking about what makes my new boyfriend better than the old ones, I don't want other people to talk about it either.
My parents can see him for the kind, funny, smart guy he is without an ex getting in the way.
They'll know I'm serious about him.
That's not to say I didn't take any of my previous relationships seriously, but they'll understand my feelings without having to fully express them. Because he's the first they've ever met, I don't need to tell them I love him and the corny “dad” jokes he makes.
I'm not as good at communicating my feelings as I like to think I am. The more I can say “he makes every day a good one simply by existing” without actually having to say those words, the better.
My parents can see that now that they've met him. No need to repeat myself.
My relationship with him is more special than it was before.
Whether he was the first guy I've ever brought home or not, our relationship is special. I go to sleep every night knowing I've found the most perfectly-imperfect human, and I am so lucky to have him in my life.
I've found someone who is as weird as I am and who gets just as excited about life as I do. He could be the 20th guy I've taken home to my parents, and I would still feel like we had something special.
However, knowing he's the only one who has met my parents adds another reason to my list.
I know I'm not the only girlfriend to have met his family, and that's OK. I never expected to find anyone who's in the same situation as I am, nor did I particularly want that.
I didn't set out to only introduce my family to the guy I want to marry; life just worked out that way. It doesn't make my relationship stronger than anyone else's. It doesn't mean I recommend that everyone wait until they're 24 years old and four SOs in to introduce them to the family.
I am incredibly lucky to have found someone who's caring, thoughtful, adventurous and everything in between. I know I haven't the slightest clue of what the future holds, but I do know one thing: I could not be happier that I'm with the first and, hopefully last, boyfriend my parents will ever meet.