Raise your hand if dating apps make you wanna rip your own eyeballs out sometimes.
Ah, yes, I see most of you have raised your hands.
Now, raise your hand if swiping on someone's sh*tty dating app profile bio and blurry pictures is starting to make you feel like you're going to die alone.
No? Just me? Too much?
WELL, ANYWAY, if you, like me, are tired of swiping and swiping and swiping, only to never actually get to the first date stage with your matches, there's a new dating app that's lets you skip right to the first date — seriously, no messaging is allowed — AND literally bans you if you bail on dates.
All flakes, beware. (By "all flakes," I mostly mean me, the queen of rain checks).
GOD, IS THAT YOU?
The new app is called First dating app. Briefly, the way it works is pretty simple. After you make a profile, you can peruse through people looking for a date to do a certain activity. Alternatively, you can set up a date and request submissions for yourself.
At that point, the person setting up the date can choose who they want to go on the date with, and VOILA, if it's you, you just show up, and you're all set.
Now, here's where this bailer's-worst-nightmare of a strike policy comes in.
Basically, you have to show up on this date, even if you really would rather saw your own arm off. If you don't (valid reasons included), First marks you as a no-show on the date.
According to Mashable, it's two strikes and you're out (meaning banned from the app) when it comes to no-shows. So "now" you and "future" you better be on the same page when it comes to making these plans, especially because users can also "rate" you as a date.
App creator, 25-year-old Truman Kain, told Mashable this was to make sure only people who are "right" for the app are the ones who are actively using it.
Is it just me, or does this feel a lot like Uber?
First's app guidelines describe their reasoning behind the "no flake" policy:
When you choose a winner for a date that you've posted, or are chosen as a winner for a date that you posted a submission to, your Date will probably be putting a lot of effort and time into getting to the date. If you stand that person up, you're not the type of User that is making First enjoyable for others. You may be blocked from First without warning at our discretion if you are a no-show or are late to a date.
A few people on Twitter have caught wind of First's more innovative policies — particularly the "no messaging" aspect — and definitely have some thoughts about it:
I mean, these people do have a point. Do I still get knocked for being a "no show" if my date turns out to be a creep?
All in all, while the strike policy may seem a bit intense (what if an actual emergency happens, what if I have every intention of going on this date but get abducted by aliens, or what if Beyoncé tells me she wants to hang out with me instead?), it is a potentially helpful way to get all of us complaining about dating out of dating purgatory for good.
Plus, at the end of the day, maybe it'll be a good lesson in actually following through with plans in general, instead of making lame excuses.
I mean, I can only take care of the sick dog I don't actually have so many times.