Neng

Finding Love Is Easier Without Dating Apps

Well, I finally did it.

I finally decided to delete my very last dating app, and I haven't looked back.

I didn't delete them all at once, but when I saw someone I grew up with get engaged, that's when I started questioning everything: My parents and a lot of my friends didn't need this, so why did I?

I want my love story to be an epic Ted Mosby-esque adventure. The right person will come along, and when it happens, it'll be amazing.

Let's do this.

So, let's back it up to my college years.

Tinder first came out, I of course, downloaded it and used it.

I received numbers, made some dates and as soon as I graduated, I deleted it. I was moving back to my hometown and I didn't want to see all my high school mates on there ... and, well, it's just awkward.

During this post-Tinder stage, I was given the chance to try a number of other dating apps: OKCupid, Match, Bumble, etc.

Compared to others, I did fairly well in the matching department. But it was the same process: swipe left, swipe right and ask friends what they thought.

Then onto the next steps: get some numbers, make some Snapchat friends, set a date that would probably never happen or go on date and have it fade. It was a vicious cycle.

Sure I made a couple of lovely friends on there because of it, but out of all the matches I had, the percentage of dates was very low.

Two things would either happen: They ghosted or I ghosted.

Ghosting is super popular on the apps, and it sometimes happens for no reason other than just ending the conversation on an unanswered question. But occasionally I used to back, look and think, "What happened?"

I didn't say anything stupid. I can't change what happened, but that's life. The whole process was starting to get really annoying.

Don't get me wrong; sometimes it works for people.

They click right away, fall happily in love and that's wonderful. But a lot of us are just stuck on our phones, swiping away.

This is what sucks about the digital age. Our eyes aren't aware of our surroundings — at all.

You're in Starbucks waiting for your mocha frappe, on Tinder, swiping away, “Babe, eh, alright, hottie, eh, alright, alright, babe” rinse and repeat.

Little did you know, someone saw you walk in and started checking you out the moment you came through the door — perhaps hoping you'd look up and smile.

Yes this has actually happened to me (though with texting instead of Tinder).

I did find myself using the dating apps in public though, and that was dumb.

Single AF, while everyone around me had a SO, and I was using these apps to connect to someone. Not going to BS you, I do enjoy single life at times and not being smothered by a SO, but it can get lonely.

The problem with dating apps is there will always be another person on your phone who you prefer or whatever, but we have to give the people around us a chance.

We have to give the people around us a chance.

There are literally so many people in front of us: friends, friends of friends, co-workers, too many to name. Get off the phone, start swiping right in the present. 

Have your love story be an amazing one, or your single adventure.

Go out there and mingle by using words that come from your mouth, not your thumbs.

You can do it. I believe in you.