We often fall so short of the person we think we should be, or the person we assume other people expect us to be, that we squeamishly justify our so-called shortcomings by unrightfully putting the blame of our failures on others.
After all, it's much easier to blame the crazy happily-ever-after-obsessed bitch on her high standards than it is to just admit that you don't know how to be a gentleman.
Now let me clarify as to where most girls set their standards. We want our chairs to be pulled out for us, and our doors to be held. We want to walk on the inside of the sidewalk and be held, gently, at the waist. We want flowers just because you happened to walk by a florist on your way home. We appreciate a picked up dinner bill, and dare I say it -- we might even expect you to hold up our jackets for us so we can effortlessly slide into them before facing the winter's chill.
We don't need you to fight off Mufasa or fly us on a fucking magic carpet ride. We don't expect someone with absolutely no baggage -- in fact, we would probably be way too intimidated or feel far too judged by someone with no issues. We don't expect you to solve all of our emotional difficulties, trials and tribulations -- but we do expect you to help us unpack some of our baggage, because we'd do the same for you.
The problem is not that women set their standards too high, but that men simply set their standards too low. You want a 25-minute blowjob because your American Express paid for our dinner? The fucking delivery.com guy goes through more trouble bringing us a meal than that took you.
If guys stepped up their chivalry game, they wouldn't feel like women's standards were too high, because they would be meeting them. Compare it to a student who performs well vs. a student who performs poorly. Bad students are held at the same standards, but the good student, who is constantly living up to his potential, never feels unjustly evaluated.
It is only the student who falls short of his capabilities who complains that he has a teacher whose tests are too hard. Well news flash kiddo, the tests ain't so hard if someone else is passing them. And such is life.
Look at the bigger picture. You're insecure because you know you are capable of much superior gallantry than what you're currently putting forth. Or maybe you are putting your best forward and your best just sucks. (If that’s the case then you need a serious reevaluation of self, and an adjustment.) The problem is that you want us to lower our standards instead of manning the fuck up and trading in your blue balls for some red roses.
A 3-year-old can look at something and tell you that it is broken. It takes someone much stronger and wiser to look at that same thing and tell you what is beautiful and special about it. And that's how women look at guys. We only want and expect Prince Charming to exist because we are willing to see the good in what we are presented with. We just need a little effort on your side.
Oh and BTW, if our standards are too high then perhaps YOU'RE the one with daddy issues: aka not being raised properly by your daddy. How lowly must you feel about your kind to say that a man is just a man? Take a cold hard look at history and what the men in this world have accomplished and then come back to me with that same deduction. Perhaps if you gave yourself half the credit we strive to give you, you'd actually live up to our supposedly high standards.
We KNOW you've got your scratches and we appreciate the scars because each one tells a story and allows us to discover more of who you really are -- underneath that asshole exterior. And who knows? Maybe our standards and your endeavors will bring out your inner Prince Charming -- the one we are looking for.
Ailin Shvartsbart | Elite.