As a single girl, I do this thing where I talk to some guy I met on Tinder, IRL or have reconnected with from my past, schedule a date with him — and cancel the date the day of.
When the actual day approaches, I just don't feel like going into date mode! I'd rather do something I find to be more productive or self-serving, like whip up some ramen noodles and stay in bed watching "New Girl."
I usually guilt trip myself for a couple of hours after I cancel, but ultimately decide I made the right decision for myself. Because there's nothing worse than dragging yourself somewhere when you aren't in the mood.
I'll never go on a date when it's the last thing I want to do. I'll also never "date just to date" just because society tells me to.
And neither should you.
Here are ten times you shouldn't feel guilty for canceling a date:
1. When you're too tired and want to sleep.
OK, it's Friday at 8 pm. I have two choices: I can go out with a guy I don't really know well, or I can catch up on the sleep I've been dying to catch up on since two weeks ago.
If I go out with some guy, I might get too drunk and miss out on my precious eight hours. So I choose sleep.
2. When you have wine night plans with your girlfriends.
Wine night may be low-key, but it's super special to you. Staying in with your girlfriends is always guaranteed to give you a laugh, and you don't know if this guy you've planned to see is funny enough to do just that.
Never feel guilty for wanting to hang with your BFFs. Female friendships should always be priority!
3. When you have nothing to wear.
You never go on a date if you don't feel sexy in what you're wearing. You want to feel sexy, dammit, but you have nothing in your closet, despite the fact that your closet is overstuffed with clothes. (Ah, the plight of any girl on Earth.)
Postpone for next week, after having made time to run to H&M to grab a cute skirt. You have to make a good first impression.
4. When you just want to be alone.
Look, I've accepted the fact that I'm very good company. And more often than not, I'd really rather be alone than be all vulnerable with some guy on a first-date that might end up feeling like an interview.
If I stay in alone, I can read a book, give myself an orgasm, have a glass of wine and give myself a makeover. I mean, the possibilities are endless.
Besides, a guy has to be pretty darn special to outdo the amazing time I have with myself.
5. When you've had a ridiculously long day at work.
Your boss yelled at you six times, the coffee machine broke down and your co-workers wouldn't get off your ass about some project. The last thing you want to do is laugh at some dude's corny jokes.
Work is work, obvs. But a date is also kind of work in a way, because you have to suck it up, smile and nod your head even in moments when you aren't really feeling it.
You don't feel like having a two-part work day. That's quite alright, single girl.
6. When you think you might like his friend more than you like him.
Oops! You met your date at a party or through friends. But he was there with his friend, whom you actually find to be cuter, smarter and generally a better catch than this dude who took your number.
You'd rather formulate a plan to get with the friend. Work on that, but of course be sly about it; if it actually pans out into anything, your date will just have to understand.
7. When you really feel like going to the gym.
You want to break a sweat -- just not over a guy. You want to break a sweat over 20-pound dumbbells because you're stressed, or just have #BodyGoals you need to achieve by a certain time.
You're super motivated and aren't one to cancel your workouts, like Beyoncé. Beyoncé never lets anyone get in the way of her workouts (oh, and neither do I.)
8. When you get invited to a fabulous, once-in-a-lifetime party.
It could be a bestie's party where you might reconnect with some old friends you haven't seen in a while. Or maybe it's a VIP fashion party where you're bound to run into a B-list celebrity. (Hey, if you live in New York City like I do, this is actually a real problem I run into.) In short, you'd be crazy to pass either one up.
You don't know where the night is going to take you and you like that uncertainty. Roll with it.
9. When you'd rather drink chamomile tea than alcohol.
Dates are EXHAUSTING. The guy is all, "Hey, let's grab a drink this Friday!" And theoretically, that all sounds good.
But then Friday rolls around and you're like, "Crap. I don't want to get drunk tonight. It's the dead of winter and I want to throw on my PJs and drink tea. Stop shaming me for being an 80-year-old at heart."
Get your tea on, girl! Ain't nothing wrong with that.
10. When you're just not that crazy about him.
...And you should never apologize for not feeling all the feels for some guy your friends or family say would be good for you. When it comes to matters of the heart, always follow your heart. Duh.