The 8 Fears All Newly Single People Face After Leaving A Long-Term Relationship
Leaving a relationship behind can be a scary thing.
You've invested time, energy and money into something you hoped would last forever, and now, you're struggling on what to do with you're newfound freedom.
In the long run, you will be happier this way, and you'll eventually meet someone new who doesn't make you cry into a tub of ice cream.
But right now, it sucks. You're probably eating that tub of ice cream, replaying the breakup talk and wondering how you'll ever survive in the dating world, filled with Tinder and questionable men.
While becoming newly single is a pretty daunting experience, remember that your relationship came to an end for a reason. It's scary, but once you get over these fears below, I promise it will get better.
1. That you will be alone forever
Although your friends will tell you this is an irrational fear, anuptaphobia (fear of being alone) is very real, and it's easy to see why newly single people regularly freak about it.
Realizing you're now back at square one in the dating pool and have to find someone new to spend all your time with is completely terrifying.
Plus, what if you're enjoying being single, and you meet someone great? Are you supposed to be with them anyway just to avoid relationship FOMO?!
Seriously, what's the drill here, guys?
2. That you made a mistake
Fearing that you made the wrong decision after a breakup is completely normal.
You spent so much time with that person for a reason, so there must have been some good times.
But the reality is, you tried as hard as you could, and even if you miss them in the future, you must have broken up for a good reason. Stick to your guns, and in time, your doubt will fade.
3. Having to explain to all your friends and family that you broke up
By far one of the most awkward moments of a breakup is explaining it to your family members, who were probably convinced your ex was "the one" for you.
The best way to approach this is just to do it as soon as possible and all at once.
Construct a message, and send it a group text. That way, you won't have to go through the pain of crying over and over while you answer the same pointless questions.
And as for your friends, let's be honest, as a form of moral support, they'll probably just call him names and remind you of all the shitty things he did.
4. Having to re-enter the dating pool
Meeting new people can be difficult in general, but dating is a completely unique (and baffling) experience.
There really are some strange people out there, and after hearing all of your friends' horror stories, you're bound to have fears about the people you'll come across.
And let's not forget the nerves that come with the very first date as a newly single woman, which are enough to make you want to text your ex immediately. But stay calm, and remember, in the worst case scenario, Uber is just a click away.
5. Not having good sex
One of the best things about being in a long-term relationship is knowing you can have good sex (almost) whenever you want.
Not only do relationships mean you've become accustomed to one another's bodies and desires, but you also feel comfortable enough to suggest new positions and other fantasies.
So, how in the world of casual dating are you supposed to find someone to have great sex with, who isn't going to treat you like crap?
At least now, you can get reacquainted with yourself, if you know what I mean. Treat yourself to a new toy and a one-on-one masturbation session, which can be just as fulfilling as actual sex.
6. Being the only single friend
Being the only single friend can have its benefits. Not only are you free to hang out with your friends whenever they can fit you in, but you also get first dibs on all the hot guys their boyfriends know when you're out for drinks.
However, it can also be super hard when your wine and cheese girls night is dominated by women talking about weekend getaway plans and anniversary presents, when all you want to talk about is food, sex and that girl from your office who's been sleeping with the manager. Scandalous!
7. Having to face events alone
Going to a big event without a plus-one is probably one of the worst forms of torture for anyone flying solo, but even more so for someone who's newly single.
Not only do you have to face the usual stares from strangers as you sit alone at the bar (or worse — the singles table), but you also have to deal with people asking where your ex is.
“Hey, where's blah-blah?” they'll ask, and you'll spend the whole evening receiving pity looks and shoulder rubs.
8. Nights in.
Sometimes, having nights in alone is great.
Indulging in a beauty routine until you feel like a queen while binge-watching Netflix or reading that book you've been meaning to get to is a luxury all women should have every now and then.
But when it becomes a regular occurrence, it gets pretty disheartening when your friends are all busy cuddling or going out to dinner with their SOs, and you're five seasons deep in another historical romance series.
But despite the negatives that come with being single, it can actually be fun once you get over the rough post-breakup hurdle.
Before you know it, you will fall in love with yourself again and enjoy your solo time until the next person comes along.