Falling in love is the best thing in the world. It will make you happier and more joyful than anything else ever could. It literally gets you high on your own brain chemicals.
Since falling in love changes everything, it only follows that falling in love also changes us. And not always for the better.
There are some common mistakes we all make in those first heady days of love. Hopefully, eventually we will learn from these mistakes. But learning from mistakes first means making them. That's just life.
1. You turn antisocial.
Your friends think you’ve been kidnapped and/or murdered because you’ve essentially dropped off the face of the planet.
You rarely respond to texts, and when you do, you’re always too busy to hang out. Which isn’t actually true. You'd just rather spend time with the person you’re in love with.
The deeper you fall for someone, the more you forget there exists a world outside the two of you. He or she becomes your whole world. While this honeymoon stage is incredibly enjoyable, you’re still being rude to your friends.
And eventually, you’re going to want them back in your life, especially if the relationship ends up not working out. Then you'd better hope that they forgive you for dropping out of their lives for such an extended period.
Remember: bros before hoes, and chicks before dicks. They're tired clichés, but completely true.
2. You become obsessive.
Or maybe addicted is the better word.
In any case, you obsess over the object of your affection. He or she is constantly on your mind. Your thoughts revolve around his or her existence and the part he or she plays in your life. This person makes you so happy. And happiness is a drug. It’s THE drug.
It’s more than OK to love with every part of your being. A little bit of obsession does go a long way in a romantic relationship. But too much obsession will ruin the relationship and possibly even your life.
You need to leave room to love other things and people as well. Allowing someone to fully take over your cognitive existence can end up destroying you.
Breaking your heart is one thing. Breaking your soul is another.
3. You become irrationally jealous.
They say love is irrational, and whoever “they” are have a point.
Emotions are irrational, and when you're in love they're at a fever pitch that leaves your mind and heart all scrambled up.
There are good reasons for being jealous, but there are also poor reasons.
Is your partner cheating on you because he or she hasn't responded to your text message for a whole hour? No. Maybe he or she was just busy for a second and forgot to respond.
Or maybe he or she was busy for an hour. Or maybe he or she didn’t have cell service or feel it completely necessary to instantly respond to your message.
I mean, it’s only been an hour, for Pete’s sake. The fact that your mind is going through this thought process just goes to show that your brain isn't working quite right.
4. You become dependent.
This one comes with a little bit of good and bad.
It’s good to be dependent to a certain extent. It's necessary for true love to manifest and survive.
However, falling for someone makes us want to give ourselves to this person fully, to become one with the person we love. And when we devote ourselves so wholeheartedly to someone else, we become dependent on him or her.
And then our happiness begins to depend on another person and how well they reciprocate our love.
In an ideal world, a perfect relationship would create pure happiness. But in this world, people make mistakes, misunderstand and assume too much. They fail to show appreciation. They fail to show care. They fail to show enough love.
Being completely dependent on attention from someone else is unhealthy.
When we become too dependent, we lose ourselves. And when we lose ourselves, the person we love loses the person he or she loves.
Don’t do that to the one you love. Don’t do that to your relationship.