10 People Describe How Falling In Love Changes As You Get Older

by Sheena Sharma
Jelena Jojic Tomic

I often wonder what it's like to get older. And as a hopeless romantic, I also wonder: How will my outlook on love shift as I age?

Right now, I fall in love hard and fast. But with age comes maturity, so it'd only make sense that the whole "falling in love" process changes in form.

Falling in love, I think, is something that different people experience differently. There's a small part of me, though, that wants to get old and still be able to fall hard and fast. I think the falling fast part is what makes love so exciting in the first place.

Here are 10 people on how falling in love changes as you get older:

This person became jaded:

My love today is tinted with the experience of what unrequited, jaded, jilted and deceitful really mean. -au-fsh

This person still gets butterflies, but not orgasms:

I'm in my mid 30s and I still get butterflies. Not as often. Not as strong. But I almost never have multiple orgasms anymore either, mostly because I'm so tired. -smokeycoughlin

Whereas, it takes a lot for this person to get butterflies:

I think as I get older it takes more for me to feel butterflies. A pretty face and nice personality aren't enough. -kittenlover27

This person doesn't think he'll fall as hard as he did when he was younger:

I think after my wife cheated on me, I was so in love with her even at like... 28, or however old I was... I don't think I'll ever get those feelings again. It'll probably just be a maturing love, something to develop over time rather than have that same, immediate, super strong feeling for years. -Donitsu

This person got more hopeful with age:

I just wear rose-colored glasses now. -jenesaipas

This person still gets "heart flutters":

I don't think butterflies equal love, but I'm 30 and my boyfriend still says or does things that make my heart flutter. Will it ever be as passionate/frankly slightly insane as it was when I was 18? I sincerely doubt it. Which is probably a good thing. -misslistlesss

This person says as you age, you fall in love less easily:

When you're young, you know less of what you really want in a relationship and you pay less attention to the negatives in your partner. When you're older, you're more aware of what you want (or don't want) and you're more cautious. You take things slower. I wouldn't call it "jaded" and I wouldn't say it's negative at all. You just don't fall as easy for someone. Add prior divorces and kids to the mix? You can't afford to fall hard and stupid anymore. -titfa

This person thinks "people get harder to love":

I just think people get harder to love as they age, mostly because they become so rigid. -2bABee

This person says love becomes a slow burn:

The first three times I fell in love, it was almost instantaneous, like the proverbial arrow to the heart. The most recent time, it has been slow and delicate. It's odd and makes me second guess myself. -aeroguard

This person says when it comes to love, "getting older is great":

You still fall in love as you get older. In my experience it's gotten a lot easier. I think older people just aren't as visible because younger people really suffer through it. Coping skills and having been there really makes strong emotions easier to deal with. You also learn what it means to love someone and be loved. You can pick out abusers more easily and avoid them. You know what it takes to make someone feel loved. You know what love should be like so you can actually make it work. Getting older is great. -Kropotqueer

Citations: How "Falling in Love" Changes with Age/Experience (Reddit)