All Is Not Lost: How To Salvage Your Love In The Inevitable Low Moments
Couples fight; it's the truth, it's inevitable, it's natural and that's okay.
Sometimes, squabbles help you see what stage your relationship is in, whether it's still worth keeping or if it's time to shut the door and move forward.
Big fights, the kind where you're on the verge of giving up, make you think it's over. They make you feel it's the end; you're done, you're better off and you're just... tired.
You think it's not going anywhere, and you've had enough. Then, love kicks in, and the next moment, you're mending things.
You're making it work again and trying to find your way back, but a part of you still remembers the painful exchange of words, the shouting and the look of contempt. How do you forget?
How do you let go of the thought that the person standing in front of you, holding your hand and kissing your cheek, was furious at you just five minutes ago?
How do you bury the image of him shouting at you out of frustration, or the realization that you're capable of bearing resentful thoughts towards him?
Getting through a big fight is one thing; what happens after that is another.
When you've gone through fights like that, it's easy to feel like the love is no longer there. You think to yourself, 'Maybe time changed things; maybe time changed us.'
You consider the possibility that maybe the love you have for each other diminished. It's not as strong as it once was, and the spark is gone. It's a routine; it's boring and it's a chore.
There are a thousand scenarios to ponder on if you wanted to, and like those ill-thoughts you might have, there are also countless positive things to think about.
Being able to get back up is a choice you constantly have to work on. It doesn't stop when an issue has been resolved, and it doesn't end when you're on a happy streak.
It's an effort and way of thinking, where every challenge brings you closer to becoming the perfect person for each other.
So, embrace it; no one was born perfect for someone else. We're human, and we make mistakes here and there, but what sets you apart from all the other people in this world is your willingness to learn from those mistakes.
I once read a quote that said, "Relationships are like a house. You don't buy a new house when a light bulb breaks, you fix it." I don't remember the exact words, but it's something along those lines.
To get back up, you have to change how you see that person. You have to always see the good, and practice patience and understanding. You have to choose your battles and know when it's time to give some space.
Have a humble heart. Humility goes a long way, especially when you're not afraid to apologize first, even when you think it's not your fault. The truth is, it doesn't matter whose fault it is. What matters is you're on good terms with the person you love the most.
Some might argue that humility could get you in trouble. They could take you for granted and not appreciate your efforts. That's true, but maybe they won't, Maybe they'll live by your example and change for the better, as well. Don't be afraid; let life unravel itself for you.
But take my advice with a grain of salt because I know not all relationships can be bettered. It's up to you to decipher when it's run its course.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It