You're talking to a cute guy at the bar and things are going well. There's a chance you could actually give this guy your number — and maybe even the real one this time.
However, there are a few red flags beyond the obvious creeper vibes that should communicate to you that you should change your mind immediately and dodge the bullet. Here's how to tell when to cut off the convo:
1. He's drunker than you are
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't consider a trashed man to be very desirable. Trust me when I say that if a guy can't control his liquor, continuing to see him will not help anyone.
You do not want to be picking a guy up from the floor when you leave; it kind of ruins the fun. It's also a bit of a buzzkill when he wants to meet your friends, but then falls asleep at the bar.
If he's unable to control liquor now, he'll probably be unable to control liquor later, too. Not only do you not want to be babysitting every time you go out with the guy, but it’s also important to know that he is functioning enough to be aware of both of your surroundings and safety.
Bar basics 101: Cuteness does not matter more than a lack of liquor control.
2. He's picking fights
"Aww, he's being so sweet, protecting you from creepy guys at the bar!"
Unless you are in an actual situation where you need help, this is a major red flag. A guy should be secure enough with himself to know that other guys will come up and talk with you.
If you are interested in Cute Guy and not the other guys talking to you, you are perfectly able to let the other guys know politely and to continue talking to Cute Guy.
But, if Cute Guy is so possessive that he doesn't even let you get a word out when other guys approach, it's probably best to walk away. If he is that overprotective with someone he just met, it will only get worse if things move forward. Don't give the digits.
3. He tells your friends he's into you, but doesn't tell you
Call me old-fashioned part two, but I do not want the ball pushed immediately in my court and all efforts in my hands. First off, I understand that in a bar full of creepers, a guy doesn't want to seem over-aggressive or lumped in with the general bar crowd, but you also want a guy who can tell you that he's interested, even if he does it in a shy way.
More importantly, if he tells your friends, then what? Does he expect you to make the first move? Are you expected to then tell his friends that you’re interested in him, too?
There is a fine line between not being too intense and having the dating process of a middle school crush.
4. He's too aggressive
A. Refuses to (insert something that should be a normal occurrence here) until you give him your number/kiss him/anything else.
B. Insists on buying you a drink, going home, etc. or
C. is too feel-y (massages are not bar-appropriate behavior, guy from North Beach!)
Then it's time to bolt.
Talking with an attractive guy one a few drinks in often creates beer vodka-goggles that comes with a poor sense of judgment. At the end of the day (or night), you have to do what’s right for you (hey, maybe you’re into the whole Rocky Balboa-at-the-Bar thing).
These are just some basic tips on when the Cute Guy at the bar might also come with a side of issues. Sometimes (always), it’s just a better decision to get back to your girlfriends and get on the dance floor.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It