18 Ways You Destroy Your Chances At Having The Love You Truly Deserve

by Chris Riotta

When love enters our lives, it changes the world around us; we're swept off our feet, shaped by the one who came along and radically transformed as a person.

And to be honest, love is scary as hell. It f*cks with your mind and makes you feel things about someone you never knew you were even capable of experiencing.

When you experience love for another person, that attraction is a gentle flame, which you need to gently nurture.

But sometimes in our lives, we make petty excuses as to why we're not ready for "The One."

We run from the right person because we're afraid it's the wrong time and find ways to crush any chance of sharing our lives with another person.

Perhaps it's a mix of self-sabotage and lack of self-love. Maybe the real reason we can't seem to love each other is because we've yet to find any love for ourselves.

Regardless, when someone with only your best intentions steps into your life, the last thing you should ever do is block him from seeing the real, raw you.

Unfortunately, it seems we're constantly building these walls that block the light out from our lovers’ hearts, and they ruin our relationships time and time again.

It's time to let go of the bullsh*t and take a leap of faith for once in our lives. When something feels right, f*ck it; we should chase it regardless of the consequences and leave behind these excuses that blind us from what can make us happier than anything we've ever known.

1. You f*ck up a good thing because you're terrified of commitment.

Stop running from the person who finds you worthy of this continued chase and give him a chance.

2. You sh*t on the good guy because he’s not enough of a bad boy.

As exciting as the rush of being with a wild one is, those flings only leave you with scars.

Meanwhile, the guy who's helped you through all those breakups has been waiting this whole time to be your only one.

3. You let your head overtake your heart.

As important as it is to see things with a clear head, yours has become fogged by irrational fears and worrying over nothing. Let things be, and you'll see how easy life can really be.

4. You're scared of the honeymoon phase ending and sh*t getting real.

After a little time together, people are forced to face difficult challenges with each other.

You can't let the fact that life continues after finding love stop you from taking the journey.

5. You lie to play games and wind up only playing yourself.

You try to impress a guy by making little white lies that come creeping back into conversation to haunt you.

Being real is the only way to go about building a meaningful relationship with someone.

6. Petty jealousy becomes the basis of every argument.

The two of you seem to only fight about sh*t like Instagram likes from randoms and online promiscuity.

We get it's 2015, but who has the time to give a f*ck about who he's following?

7. You can't check your ego at the door.

There's no compromise; you refuse to make concessions for another person in your life, and that's a damn shame.

8. The five-year plan takes over the present.

You're so worried about his future, or your future, or your future together that you're not even here, right now. Stop being so wrapped up in what hasn't come so you can enjoy what's right in front of you.

9. You keep someone on the side after you already found someone beautiful.

Didn't you know having sides spoils the main course?

10. You don't trust yourself not to f*ck it up.

You're letting past experiences or fear or the unknown get in the way of a beautiful experience for the mere fact that it comes with responsibility.

Instead, trust your instincts and just dive in. You'll be surprised how easy it is to remain loyal to someone you're in love with.

11. You let the opinion of others define your own.

If your friends aren't falling in love with your SO as much as you, it begins to diminish your own feelings for that person. Have some backbone and stand up for the one you're in love with instead of knocking him down.

12. You shut people out so they don't think you're worthless.

It all comes down to self-love. You need to know you are a truly beautiful soul before you can share that beauty inside of you without fear of rejection.

So, if you're unaware, let me tell you: You are a truly beautiful soul.

13. For some reason, it's never "the right time" in your life.

Seriously, what the f*ck? I've heard just about every excuse in the book, but what makes this moment any different from any other crazy, hectic moment in your life?

If you've found the person of your dreams, don't squander your chance at happiness.

14. You can never give anybody a second chance.

It's one thing if someone committed a major mistake that can never be undone, but sometimes we have to let the little bygones be bygones.

Cut him a break every now and then; the little bumps in the road don’t mean he loves you any less.

15. You can't kick the ex-habit that keeps crawling back into your life.

Seriously, having him over one last time is not going to finally give you the "closure" you deserve. It's time to burn the bridge and keep it moving.

16. You let the possibility of "what if" overcome the possibility of what is.

Maybe he's cheating behind your back or even dating other people right out in the open.

But you'll never actually know, so stop f*cking worrying and try a little thing called trust instead.

17. You're swayed from settling down by the thought of something fresh and new.

The thought of being with someone for more than a one-night stand isn't something you've thought about for a long time, and you didn't have any immediate plans to change that.

While it may be scary entering the world of exclusiveness, you should know there are ways to keep the fire burning in a long-term situation.

18. You can't let go of something for a chance at having everything.

Whatever it is that is keeping you from chasing your love, let it go.

Let the excuses go, let the fears go and fall deeply, madly into the person you dream of every night and wake up thinking about every morning.