Check this out: According to a new study from the University of Alberta (I LOVE Canada, don't you?) the more depressed your bae is, the more love and affection they need from YOU.
I love when science confirms what I've always known in my heart to be true. It's SO gratifying!
I can feel my poor girlfriend sighing through the computer screen now. I'm always demanding more love from her, and guess what? It's because I'm depressed, honey.
Theses glorious conclusions were drawn from the aforementioned study which examined different couples and surveyed their individual levels of depression, as well their self-esteem and the emotional support they were receiving from their partners.
According to Science Daily, researchers discovered that the when a sad bae was feeling stressed the fuck out, but was given support and affection from their partner, their future feelings of sadness and depression weren't so dire. (I told you so, babe!)
Matthew Johnson, a researcher in the study, says that while he gets it's no easy task to give support to your wildly depressed and insecure partner, it's worth it in the long run. He says,
Efforts from a partner to help alleviate stress may prevent the development or worsening of mental health problems and, in fact, could help keep the relationship healthy. When we experience stress, especially high levels of stress, we are particularly vulnerable and perhaps that's why partner support in those times is so impactful and long-lasting.
Interestingly enough, men tend to have higher self-worth when they're supporting their sad girlfriends (or boyfriends). Johnson says of male-creatures, "Giving to their partner made them feel better about themselves."
Women, on the other hand, feel better when they GET support from their partners. Maybe this is why being a lesbian is so damn harrowing? Both of us are constantly yelling "GIVE ME SUPPORT!"
(It's exhausting, but the sex is so hot, it's worth it.)
The study also concludes that all genders have better self-esteem and are less depressed when they have partner's who actively support them when they're wigging out and spiraling into darkness.
Those who have better mental health to start with may have the capacity to reach out for support when needed and are better able to manage stress on their own, but they are likely not the people who would benefit most from a partner's help.
However, Johnson also admits that giving support to a depressed, sad partner can be really difficult. (Sorry, babe.). He notes,
When someone is depressed or has low-self-worth, they may lash out. A partner offering support reaffirms feelings of depression and helplessness, of the feeling that they have to pick up the slack.
I may or may not be known to irrationally lash out when I'm down, but hey, no one is perfect! Johnson recommends offering your partner "invisible support."
What the hell is "invisible support?" Don't worry. Johnson explains, and I think you'll like it,
Studies suggest offering support your partner may not even be aware of, but would still be a helpful gesture, like taking care of a sink full of dirty dishes they haven't seen yet. You can offer support, just don't draw attention to it.
So boyfriends, girlfriends, partners, husbands, wives and baes of depressed people, start doing the dishes! It will help your precious partner be less sad, and you don't want your partner to be SAD, right?
Time to start washing up, honey!