I'd like to start off by saying I have nothing but respect for musicians.
They're confident, they're idealists and they're ballsy as hell for taking on an industry that is damn near certain to kick them in the guts once or twice.
For reasons that have yet to be identified, when a woman walks into a room, the most attractive guy she'll find is bound to be the one sitting in the corner in cuffed skinny jeans, strumming his guitar while tapping his scuffed leather shoes on the hardwood floor.
There's just something about a man who belts out harmonies and wears his heart on his sleeve that gets our blood pumping and our hormones ready to pounce.
Give a woman a scruffy beard and calloused fingertips, and she'll be dying for him to pluck a G-string you can't find on a Gibson or Taylor.
Well, I hate to break it to you, ladies, but the idea that having songs written about you is the greatest thing in the world is a total misconception.
Most women are mistaken into thinking it's really sweet. They think it's the best gift they'll ever receive.
It's not hard to see why.
I mean, he wrote a song specifically about you.
You were his inspiration, his muse and the face he saw at 2 am while he was strumming up the new chords.
You're the one who gets to curl up on the couch with a cup of tea as he debuts his work at a private concert just for you.
On the other hand, it can also be pretty awkward, uncomfortably personal, sometimes mortifying and, in the worst cases, extremely hurtful.
Do you know the worst part? You can't do a thing about it.
The moment the relationship began, you signed off your heart to be vulnerable to his work because that's all the songs are.
They are not confessions of love or things written up to make you smile; they're items of business.
Every emotional experience you've shared together is now subject to be exploited for the sake of making it into the glamorous, coveted and cutthroat music industry.
Most likely, however, your musical man isn't always going to be writing songs about you.
He'll be writing about relationships and the idea of love in general.
I admit this can be very heartwarming, but it can also spike up your paranoia to crazy levels.
But if you want to stick with him, never let yourself be “that girl.”
Never tell him he can't write about you, or worse, that he has to write about only you.
That's not how the game works, sweetheart.
If you're in this relationship for the long haul, you'd better get used to it.
Luckily, if you're more into the materialistic side of it all, there are definitely perks for you to look forward to.
You'll get free tickets, food comps and backstage passes galore.
Even if his band hasn't made it big yet, chances are, they're working hard to get there.
You'll always have a gig to go to.
But, keep in mind that as sexy as you find your man shredding a guitar solo on stage, the gaggle of women in the audience are just as (if not more) turned on.
Women will throw themselves at your dude. Get used to it.
It's all part of the “musician's girlfriend” contract.
It's normal to get a little jealous, but don't let it make you feel insecure. It's going to happen at every show.
Women will want pictures, autographs and two minutes to flirt with him once the set is over.
This means you'll be sitting alone in the corner, waiting for your ride to get ready to go.
Sure, attending a free show is great. But, that usually means you'll get stuck loading and unloading the equipment from the car for a gig that does absolutely nothing to benefit you.
(Unless, of course, you're aspiring to be a roadie. In this case, I highly suggest you date no one but musicians from here on out.)
Once you've realized being the subject of a song isn't all that, you'll start to come to a few other realizations, too.
For starters, your relationship isn't the inspiration for a poppy, foot-tapping love song; it's a catalyst to jump-start his career.
When you break up, he'll walk off with a pool of experiences that could inspire the single for his next EP.
You, on the other hand, are left with a playlist that puts you at the risk of breaking down into tears whenever it comes on.
Furthermore, musicians are impulsive. They are often gone for long periods of time.
Even if his name isn't yet written in lights, there are endless, year-round opportunities for independent artists to play at festivals and small shows across the country.
Trust me, no aspiring musician will turn down a chance to perform and get his or her name out there, even if it means leaving you and the relationship in the dust.
You must always be conscious of the fact that musicians take their inspiration from everywhere, and I mean everywhere.
Whether it's from your pre-dating days, a fight with your best friend or an awkward sexual experience you'd like to forget, he will remember.
If artistic inspiration can be found, it's going to be used for an album.
If you go to bed with a songwriter, that's what you can expect.
In the end, you'll realize you're just another song on a set list, and a notch in the neck of his guitar.
Sounds of inspiration will lead to a music video of him and a beautiful woman frolicking through a field, and he'll be feigning love with her better than he ever did with you.
But facts are facts.
A man with a guitar is gorgeous and totally mysterious, and every 20-something-year-old woman fantasizes about dating a musician at some point in her life.
I'd say it's every woman's rite of passage as a lust-driven Millennial.
But before going down that road, know that falling in love with a music man is tough and inconsistent, and — as Journey told us — "It ain't always what it's supposed to be."
So after all that, if you still think it's worth it, go for it.
Maybe you'll be the one to come out of the musician love story alive.
This article was originally published on Literally Darling.
