Why Dating Is As Exhausting As Finding A Job
For ambitious, career-driven women like me, we don't just want to fall in love with some guy (or girl) — that's what we're going to do anyway. We want to ALSO fall in love with our careers.
If I'm being completely honest here, I want to fall in love with my job first, then hopefully have a meet-cute with the hot guy from the office. Then, he'll become my bae.
A girl can dream, but what are the chances of that actually happening, right?
Since I graduated from college, finding a job felt ALMOST harder than finding a date. Shocking? No, not really.
But my post-college job hunt life made me think about how similar it is to dating. Think about it: You want to find a company you like that likes you back.
I went on a first date with that thought in mind. I imagined the guy to be a potential boss sitting across a conference table asking me, “So, What are some things you're passionate about? What is your biggest strength?”
And I realized, I didn't really know what my passions or strengths were. I realized I wasn't entirely sure of who I was. And if I'm going to get anywhere in dating or my career, I have to become a fully-realized person who doesn't just pretend to have their life together.
When looking for love, you make a list in your head/on your dating vision board of what you want your ideal mate to be like, right? You imagine the love you want in order to help manifest it in your life.
You do the same thing with your dream career. What does your ideal job look like? Can you imagine yourself in a dream role? Why or why not? You make this list in your mind/on your career vision board so you can also make this dream into a reality.
Whether you're looking for love or looking for your dream job, you have to put yourself out there if you ever want to be successful. You have to go out and get what you want, in both love and career.
So, here's why finding a job can feel a lot like dating:
You have to create the most attractive profile possible.
Creating a LinkedIn page is just like creating a Tinder profile, except you're hoping to attract the right kinds of companies that are interested in people LIKE YOU.
You want the perfect headshot along with a clever, witty bio to entice lurkers to connect with you and slide into your DMs.
You get ghosted regularly.
You apply and submit your resume EVERYWHERE hoping you get an email or a call back. Sometimes you even end up being ghosted or mooned, just like swiping right or swiping left or not getting a text back. THE STRUGGLE IS REAL.
You're serious about your job hunt, so you search for roles at companies that peak your interest, just like you assess and sift through the Tinder universe.
What can they do for you, and will they treat you well or will they just use and abuse you?
Every phone interaction counts.
After you and your potential employer decide you both like each other enough to communicate (much like a preconceived Tinderella love story), you set up a phone screening.
You know you want to come off as cool and confident as possible in hopes to impress the company or your new match, so you practice how you'll say hello or create mental notes in your head of certain questions to ask.
You have to make a hell of a first impression.
SUCCESS! Not only did you attract a company, but you also convinced the employer you're worthy of their time and are coming in for an interview to see if there's any chemistry. It's just like a first date!
It's exciting and stressful, I know, so you tell all your closest friends about this awesome opportunity and you figure out what outfit you'll wear and work on calming your nerves.
Interviewing is a lot like dating because you're essentially selling yourself to see who's willing to pay to play. OK, that sounds bad, but you get what I'm saying, right?
Your interview is your first date with a company. Nobody is here to wine and dine you, but you're still trying to see if this person you're speaking with is going to be a part of your life moving forward.
It doesn't always work out, but you do learn a lot.
Sometimes, interviews go really well. And sometimes, they completely suck ass.
When they suck, they'll make you want to give up on your search all together, just like some of these first dates you and I have both been on.
There will always be plenty of more fish in the sea.
Try not to beat yourself up or feel too drained on a job hunt or while dating. The right person and the right company will find you!
Besides, sometimes a princess has to kiss a couple of frogs before she meets her prince. And the same goes for finding a great company that takes value in you as an employee.
So, keep hope alive!