Moving on after a breakup is so incredibly bittersweet because it marks the end of a lot of things, not just your relationship.
Picking up the broken pieces after a breakup is difficult because there isn't a single roadmap that guides you through the process. You take it in moments with an abundance of compassion towards yourself because you're doing the best you can.
The breakthrough won't be a sudden shift, but rather a combination of realizations over time that everything turned out to be better than you ever imagined. Why? The unfathomable happened and you got over your ex without realizing it.
When you and your ex first call it quits, you're flooded with emotions and thoughts that can leave you feeling like you're going down an endless pit of sadness and nostalgia. Everyone wants you to be hopeful and positive, which are foreign concepts during a heartache.
And then it happens. Cue the fireworks.
If you can answer 'yes' to all of these questions, it means you're finally over your ex.
1. Is your ex no longer part of your initial morning thoughts?
It's annoying that they're the first thing you think about when you wake up and the last before you go to sleep.
You can't control it, regardless of how many self-help books you read or how many inspirational quotes you come across on Instagram.
But one morning, you check your email, feed your dog, exercise and finish the rest of your morning routine without a single thought about you ex.
Then shock shows up later on that day when you realize you haven't thought of them once. Could this be? Do you suddenly care more about the weather forecast than what he could be doing?
2. Did your ex's rebound suddenly become irrelevant?
When you first discover that your ex's rebound exists, your stalking skills go into overdrive and suddenly her Pinterest boards are something you're keeping up with as part of your daily routine.
Your heart sinks when you notice she pinned an engagement ring. Is she psycho or are they that serious? It's ok, we've all been there.
So, it makes sense that there's nothing more glorious than not caring about her next Instagram post. In fact, when you do look now (if you even remember), it's out of pure entertainment for you and your girlfriends.
3. Are dates going by you without any real significance?
Every milestone has an anniversary. Suddenly you're an expert at math with a memory of an elephant because you remember everything.
What date the big fight happened, date you broke up, date he first said 'I love you' and the date he first made it official are all things that you didn't think you remembered, but you did.
Then that moment comes and you're shocked that you stopped keeping track of things. In fact, months have passed since your last tally. Time to pop the champagne because this is a great sign of brighter days ahead.
4. Do you find someone else physically and intellectually attractive?
The intellectual component is key because it means you're looking past the surface, which involves some effort from your heart. A physical distraction is easy. After all, who can miss lethal blue eyes and a bright smile?
Becoming emotionally involved with someone means seeing sides of a human being that encompass vulnerability. This is something that can only happen when your heart has gone through the recovery process.
If various aspect of your crush's life are suddenly important to you, it's a sign you've moved on.
5. Are memories of your relationship more balanced now?
If you are able to share the narrative of the relationship by including both the good and the bad, you're finally over your ex.
However, if you're only sharing one side of the spectrum, you still have some work to do. The truth is, things all happened for a reason.
There were positive aspects of your relationship because otherwise, you two would have never dated in the first place. Same concept applies for the not-so-pretty side of why things ended.
Being able to have enough humility and acceptance that has created a multidimensional lens in which you view your ex means you're well on the road to recovery—without them.