12 Things You Will Learn About Redheads Once You've Started Dating One
As a redheaded man with two redheaded parents and four redheaded grandparents, I know a thing or two about our fair-skinned people. But this article isn’t about us. Instead, it’s about those who date us.
Since this is the case, prior to compiling the telltale signs for this article, I spoke with my girlfriend about what kinds of things daters of redheads know to be true about my people.
Below are the most significant signs that you’re dating the truest of true redheads.
1. Your beach dates require a little more maintenance.
As somebody dating a redhead, you are no stranger to sunscreen and our strict application techniques. You understand how important this is to us and won’t react negatively when asked to apply a heaping amount to our pasty backs.
In addition to this, you will have to select a location on the sand that offers both sun and shade -- but not too much of either. Because while you can worship the sun all day, we don’t have this same luxury.
2. “Fiery redhead” is a stereotype for a reason, and you know this better than anyone.
Though you may believe we use it as an excuse, redheads do have a temper. I can verify this myself, tenfold.
While we can make for the most generous of partners and passionate of lovers, if wronged in any way, we react similarly to Carrie after the iconic scene in which she’s been doused in pig’s blood.
You’ve probably found that the best thing to do when said temper hits is to get the hell out of our way and return when the storm has passed.
3. You reap the benefits of the more active sex life that science says comes with us.
I believe we redheads are pretty great at sex. But instead of having me gloat, I’ll let science do the talking.
According to a study conducted by Hamburg Sex Researcher Professor Dr. Werner Habermehl, whose research divided women’s sexuality by their hair color, “The sex lives of women with red hair [are] clearly more active than those of other hair color, with more partners and having sex more often than the average."
He then added, “Even women in a fixed relationship are letting their partners know they are unhappy if they dye their hair red. They are saying that they are looking for something better."
4. You defend redheads as if you were a redhead yourself.
Redheads have grown up defending themselves. In doing so, we’ve developed a thick skin (that is still surprisingly susceptible to sun). By dating a redhead, you’ve emotionally become a redhead in a sense and, therefore, feel the need to defend your partner when any form of discrimination presents itself.
While we appreciate your support, we’ve long known how to defend ourselves from haters. So we’re good.
5. Regardless of gender, your partner will bear an uncanny resemblance to another redhead.
Ron Weasley, Conan O’Brien, Louis CK, any reality show cast member with red hair, you name it -- if they’re gingers, I look like them. At least that’s according to the seemingly hundreds of strangers who have told me so.
When I brought this up to a redheaded pal of mine (who is female), she too expressed this same revelation, telling me she’s always told how much she looks like Donna from "That ‘70s Show."
There is no way I can look like both Ron Weasley and Louis CK, people. We don’t all look alike.
6. You can spot us in a crowd no problem, especially if we’re tall.
In a sea of brown, blonde and black, spotting a redhead in a crowd is pretty easy to do. So splitting up isn’t really a big deal, because you’ll find us.
Whether at a music festival or in a mall around the holidays, redheads are the opposite of “Where’s Waldo’s” iconic character, and hopefully you appreciate our ability to stand out. This is especially true if we’re tall as well.
7. You know our ginger pride is unwavering.
We might have hated our hair back when bullies teased us, but that’s changed, and we’ve emerged more confident than ever before. As a result of this triumph, we’ve become proud of what sets us apart from everybody else.
8. You’ve discovered a redhead’s best-kept secret.
Lucky you! Alas, the truth is out there: Our carpet does indeed match the drapes. But in all honesty, can people please stop asking us this question? It’s rude, personal and very, very weird.
9. You can’t ever say you’re pale.
Because your pale will never compare to our pale.
10. You see the beauty in freckles.
Freckles are yet another thing redheads are often teased for as kids. We hated them because they made us different. But you, somebody presumably without freckles, finds true beauty in these so-called beauty spots, which is something we’ll appreciate more than you’ll know.
11. You know redheads can be mighty sensitive -- and not just to the sun.
Yes. Like our skin, you have discovered that redheads are quite sensitive. We may have a tough exterior, but when push comes to shove, we’d rather just love.
12. You see that we have a strange connection with all other redheads.
Whether we say “hi” or nod to acknowledge their presence, redheads will instantly feel a connection with other redheads. This is a fact.
You may ask how we know the person we just exchanged pleasantries with, but the reality is we don’t know them. We just know that they, like us, are redheads, and are therefore worthy of acknowledgment.
I’ve heard Jeep drivers do this as well.