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Question from the reader:
My dad saw my boyfriend's dick pic on my phone. How the F*CK do I handle this? I am drowning in embarrassment. I am 20 years old and living at home for the summer. I'm afraid my dad isn't going to let me out of the house anymore, but he has yet to confront me about the picture as he just saw it last night. Help please I am freaking out.
SOS, Not-So-Innocent Daddy's Girl
This is a very awkward situation. I totally feel you on the embarrassment. I can almost feel your shame radiating off the page. It's a weird thing, being a daddy's girl. You always want to maintain a level of innocence for both you and your dad.
I have the same issues with my dad, and I'm a sex writer on the internet. Try that one on for size.
I'm 25, and my dad still is semi-oblivious to the sex shit I'm into. Because it's weird. I don't want my dad thinking about me being porked by my boyfriend. Sex is a healthy, wonderful thing, but the man who raised me and bounced me on his knee just can't handle that kind of imagery. God bless him.
I tell my mom everything, and she loves it. She reads all my articles about blow jobs and threesomes and thinks they're just hilarious. Meanwhile, my dad only reads things I write about love and relationships and only when I specifically send them to him. He prefers the seal of approval so he knows that what he's opening is dad-appropriate.
No daughter wants her dad to think she's a sexual creature. We somehow think dads can't handle it and that they're going to somehow think less of us if they find out we have real, normal and healthy sex drives. It's kind of messed up, but it's true.
So, you're not alone, girl. All dads are big babies. The daddy's girl mentality has been SEARED into our minds since birth. We have to be "good girls" so daddy will love us.
Anyway, let's get to the dick pic fiasco at hand. I'm not sure what kind of relationship you have with your dad, but I'd just completely ignore this. I don't see a father confronting his daughter about it. My money is on him just letting it go and pretending it didn't happen.
Sure, things will be marginally awkward for the next few weeks, but c'est la vie.
Living at home definitely adds a layer of discomfort, but I'd just keep your phone in your pocket around your dad and ignore the elephant in the room. When it comes to dads, I always say leave them in the dark. I know communication is the key to healthy friendships and relationships, but with the testy daddy/daughter relationship, sh*t can get weird.
Now, let's say he DOES bring it up. He might. You never know with people. He may want to discuss it or tell you it's a bad idea to have those pictures, and he may be pissed at your boyfriend. But here's the thing: At the end of the day, you're a grown woman.
You're 20 years old. You're allowed to have a sex drive, and you're allowed to have dick pics. Those are just the facts of it. Whether or not your dad wants to acknowledge that is his prerogative, but you shouldn't feel guilty for having dick pics from bae.
So, if he does bring it up, just say, "Dad, I'm really sorry you saw that picture. I didn't want you to see it, obviously. It wasn't meant for you. I'm an adult, and I'm in a serious relationship. I apologize that you had to see that and I hope we can put it behind us and move on."
And then drop it. If he wants to make it a big thing, just walk away. Go to the mall with some friends and let him chill. If need be, call your mom in for backup.
Sh*t happens. This will all blow over in a week or so, and it'll be like it never took place. Your dad is not going to think less of you in the long run. Even dads eventually have to accept that their daughters will grow up one day.
I hope this helps.
Yours in lust, XOXO Auntie Gigi
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