Confessions Of A Heartbreaker: Why We Would So Much Rather Be Heartbroken
There are thousands of blog posts, self-help books, articles and therapists dedicated to healing the broken-hearted. In the midst of all this, we forget there are two sides to the story: the heartbreaker and the heartbroken.
The heartbreakers are swept aside and branded as emotionless assh*les, and to an extent, this is correct. However, no one ever touches on the harsh realities these heartbreakers face.
Everyone thinks being heartbroken is the worst outcome. I will argue it's worse to be the heartbreaker.
What they don’t tell you about being the heartbreaker is it happens fast, as if someone flicked a switch. All of a sudden, the person you swore was the one -- you swore was different, you swore you’d love forever -- is no more.
The convenient phrase, “It’s not you, it’s me,” couldn’t be anymore appropriate because it actually does have nothing to do with the other party.
You know you're being an idiot, but no matter how hard you try, the love is gone. No amount of begging, time or money could bring the love back.
Breaking someone else’s heart is right up there with the hardest things in this world to do, but you do it anyway.
To look into the eyes of someone who once meant so much and simply rip his or her heart out is something only a special breed of human can do.
After the deed is done, you feel like sh*t, even if your reasons for leaving are perfectly valid. But, only heartbreakers understand that the one thing worse than doing this is not doing it.
Heartbreakers are restless by nature, which is both a blessing and a curse. They have an insatiable appetite for life and are perpetually searching for something bigger and better.
What they don’t tell you, though, is about the internal war playing out in their minds.
Only heartbreakers understand it is so desirable to be able to swap places with the heartbroken just to feel something, anything, even if it is pain. Instead, we remain hollow shells, knowing what we “should” feel, but simply don’t and can't.
Heartbreakers are fully aware of the pain we inflict on others, but nevertheless, remain impartial.
You were responsible for this person’s heart. You had one job and you made a mess of it. You are sorry, but not for leaving. You are sorry for having absolutely no control over your reckless feelings.
After you leave, you will build four high walls around yourself. Not for personal safety and protection, but for the safety and protection of anyone else who dares to come close.
You will punish yourself and refuse to meet anyone new because you know you’re an undeserving assh*le.
After a short amount of time, though, you crave human affection and revert back to your old ways. You will lead someone on; perhaps have a one-night stand, then never call back. That’s simply what you do.
Leaving a trail of broken hearts is nothing to be proud of and no one will understand this more than a heartbreaker.
At least the heartbroken have clean consciences and the chance to heal. The heartbroken are certain they gave 100 percent and know it was love.
Heartbreakers are cursed to live with the pain they’ve caused and are never certain if what they felt was real.
So, for all you heartbroken humans out there, remember, it could have been worse -- you could have been the heartbreaker.