I've been the girl in the relationship that I should have left long before I actually did. It's not something I'm proud of, but it is what it is.
I'm not the only one who's been in that situation before. Maybe you've been that person in the past, or you are right now. Maybe you're just curious for the future.
Either way, if you're seeing these signs in your current love life, it's probably time to ditch your relationship.
1. You make excuses for them.
I had a friend whose boyfriend cheated on her one night when she wasn't around. She told me it was her fault because she had a family party to go to that night and wasn't able to make it out to the bar with him and his friends. As soon as she told me that, my heart broke for her.
This girl was cheated on and she not only accepted his action and brushed it off, but made an excuse for why he did it. Cheating is never acceptable.
As much as you may love and care for your significant other, making excuses for their actions is never something you should have to do. Even if the excuses are simple, they're still unacceptable.
As soon as you start making these types of excuses for your significant other, you need to get rid of this person.
You deserve an explanation, not an excuse — especially one you have to make up yourself.
2. You don't want to be around them.
There used to be a time when you couldn't wait to spend time with this person. Any free moment you had, you would be rushing over to his or her house just to spend a sliver of time together.
You'd go get coffee together, pick up groceries together and even study in the same room in silence. Anything you could do together, you did.
But now, it's totally different.
You want to spend your free time alone. You get annoyed having to go to the grocery store with that person. You don't get upset when he or she cancel plans and you might actually feel relief when your SO does. All of these are major red flags.
3. They don't support you.
The person you're in a relationship with should be your biggest cheerleader. They should want anything that could possibly make you happy to happen. They should support and love you, no matter what.
While you do need someone who will be realistic with you and keep you grounded, that same person should also be able to show you support and help you reach your goals.
If you find yourself involved with someone that shoots your dreams down and is unsupportive, it's time to ditch them and go after your dreams by yourself.
4. They change your mind, and usually for the worse.
You're an ambitious person with goals and dreams that can change the world. You value your career and can see yourself as an executive at the company you work for in a few years. You can't wait to have a family with that white picket fence you've been imagining for years.
Well, that was until the past few months of your relationship, anyway.
Now you don't care much about your job, and you don't really care about marriage anymore. Your dreams and goals changed (or even disappeared) since you've been involved with your partner.
The lively, take-over-the-world person you once were is gone.
Your partner should support you. Part of that means pushing you to achieve your dreams and encourage you everyday.
5. Most of your relationship has been a "rough patch."
If someone revealed they have never had problems or disagreements in their relationship, they are either lying or haven't been dating long enough.
Every relationship isn't going to be perfect every moment of every day, but if you're looking back on your relationship and can only remember more bad moments than good, you need to realize you're not in a rough patch, you're in a rough relationship.
Don't stay around and wait for it to get better -- because it's not going to.
6. You're not happy.
You can change most things about your life. Where you live, your career, how you look—you get the idea. The one thing you can't change is time.
Time is a precious thing because it's very limited and we don't know how long we have. Living in the moment and only doing what makes you happy is a hard concept for many people to grasp and implement in their lives.
Sure, you might not always be able to do what makes you happy, but you have the ability to choose to be around people who make you happy. If your significant other doesn't make you happy when you're around them, leave.
Today. Right now.
Give yourself the gift of happiness because life is too short not to. It might hurt leaving that person now, but over time, you'll find you're going to be happier than you are right now.
The bottom line is that if you're experiencing any of these signs (and especially if you relate to more than one), it's time to set yourself free. The right relationship will come along, no matter how worried you are that it won't.
Take it from someone who's been there. Almost a year after I freed myself, I wound up in the best relationship of my life.
Better things never come if you hold yourself back from finding them.