Committed: What Being In a Relationship Means In Your 20s


One's 20s are considered the prime of life. It’s the age when you become secure within yourself, with what you enjoy and with what you want out of life. It’s a time to look for a potential life partner.

However, nowadays, being in your 20s implies you are free, living life to the fullest, with no one holding you back. Subsequently, there is an apparent stigma attached to being committed to someone else when “too young.”

Being in a relationship for the past five years (or, for the entire first half of my 20s) has opened my eyes to what people believe being in a Gen-Y relationship means versus being single.

When you are in a committed relationship, most people think you are unwilling to embark on the various adventures your friends may or may not be having. There is a strong chance that your friends even think you are holding back and not experiencing life to the fullest, which is often false.

When you are single in your 20s, you are constantly surrounded by the various escapades, adventures and excitement you might not experience when you are in a relationship.

The single life is full of spontaneity and the countless passages of the unknown. This life can look glamorous and exhilarating, but why can’t this school of thought be applied to when a 20-something is in a healthy, committed relationship?

Relationships are portrayed to be a lackluster, black-and-white film over your entire 20s. Why is this? Considering what we go through to find someone to love, you would think it would be the other way around.

There are several ways to achieve a healthy balance in your life between your significant other and your social life. Here are a few key examples:

Don’t Compromise Your Interests For The Other Person.

It takes time to settle into a relationship and to get comfortable. Eventually, your interests and your partner’s interests will start to split off. Watching every Giants game can get boring quickly, no matter how much you love Kruk and Kuip.

Sooner or later, you’ll start looking for other ways to pursue your interests with your partner. If going shopping with you or seeing the latest Ryan Gosling movie still doesn’t appeal to him, don’t hesitate to call a friend to join instead.

Ultimately, it’ll hurt your relationship to make your significant other do things he or she doesn’t necessarily enjoy doing.

Don’t Be Afraid To Do Things Without Your Significant Other.

Just because you are in a loving, committed relationship does not mean that you and your partner can’t have different interests. It is important to explore your passions on your own merit.

Go out, have fun and explore the world with or without your partner. Don’t hold back from going to that Coldplay concert just because he or she doesn’t want to go; find someone who will go and will enjoy it alongside you.

Doing Things Separately Allows You To Miss Each Other.

The plus side of doing things separately from your partner is that it encourages having room to miss each other. You want that uncontrollable urge to feel his or her love, and that won’t happen if you are constantly around this person, all day, every day.

It turns your basic routine together into something exciting again, inevitably improving your overall relationship.

The Importance Of Finding The Balance.

You can have your cake and eat it, too, if you are willing to compromise and work hard to find the right balance between your partner and your social life. The trick is finding what works best for both of you.

First and foremost, it is important to have that mutual trust for each other. There is no reason a couple in a relationship can’t enjoy the spontaneous aspect of the single life. As long as you come home to each other, you can both discover your passions and grow together as a couple.

Photo via Favim