Hey all you astro-lovers and astro-skeptics, losers and winners, young and old.
I just want to say, WE HAVE ARRIVED.
Here's who's getting laid, who's getting married and who's falling in love (with someone else or with themselves) in 2017, according to the stars.
Aries, you'll been so focused on your own independence and learning to express yourself in your own way that when it comes to matters of the heart, you'll be all, "Ain't nobody got time for that!"
But in September of 2017, a once-in-every-12-year transit comes through that holds the potential for a real and lasting partnership for you.
Transits don't specify whether or not this relationship is going to be romantic, business or platonic, so however this works out will be up to you.
Regardless of what you choose, this is a time for enhanced fulfillment in the relationships in your life.
The last few years have been all about stripping away any delusions you have about relationships and getting real about yourself and about your partners, as Saturn was in your eighth house from 2015 to 2017.
You've been less likely to play games or to engage in power plays, and you may have been keeping your focus on casual dating instead of intensely serious partnerships.
That said, 2017 will be a year when your love life starts to loosen up a bit.
So, integrate those lessons you've learned in the last two years, and get yours.
The year of 2017 will teach you a lot about your fundamental needs in relationships through your interactions with others.
Maybe you've already been feeling these transits in your love life.
If you're in a relationship, know the challenges you're undergoing will be more intense than normal.
It will be all about growing and expanding the ways in which you communicate and act on behalf of yourself in order to keep your relationship grounded.
If you are single, you will find yourself attracted to more mature, grounded relationships with real-life potential, and by the end of 2017, you'll have a much more solid understanding of what relationships mean to you.
With Pluto in your relationship sector, you could be dealing with some obsessive behavior, loss or fear of betrayal in your relationships.
This could either be coming from yourself, or it could be coming from a partner, but either way, you will be the one attracting the energy.
Instead of pointing the finger or placing blame, you should focus instead on the beliefs in YOURSELF that are causing this fear to infiltrate your love life.
What beliefs do you have about love that are based in fear?
The more directly you face these challenges, the less you'll feel the influence of this challenging transit.
What you want and what you are realistically capable of giving back to a romantic relationship will become crystal clear by the end of 2017.
You'll be sharing yourself more selectively and finding that you don't actually need as much attention or ego-stroking as you might've needed before. You'll feel confident enough on your own, and this will make you even more attractive.
Many Leos will either solidify their relationships in 2017 or begin to date someone quite seriously.
Get ready to settle down, Leo.
Jupiter, the planet of expansion and luck, is in your sign, so if you've been working on yourself, 2017 will be an especially rewarding period.
Your confidence in yourself and faith in the process of life are growing quickly.
You'll be more willing to have new experiences and to rid yourself of people, places and things that have been holding you back from really owning your life.
You will take on more “me” time, which is long overdue, and this all adds to your personal appeal.
You'll finally have the upper hand in relationships this year, Virgo. And it's about time because for a while now, you've felt as though the ball was in the other person's court.
This year is an unusually private period of time in Libra's life.
While Jupiter is in your partnership sector, you also have Saturn in your communication sector, making you a bit more focused on self-sufficiency.
This is a good thing for you, Libra, since you're ordinarily so focused on your partner.
Relationships in 2017 will need to be flexible enough to allow you the freedom and the personal space to grow, which isn't typically your focus.
But, you'll find that it actually feels GREAT to look out for yourself for once.
Neptune (the planet of spirituality, creativity and opposing forces) in your partnership sector continues to bring mystery, intrigue, spirituality and confusion to your love life.
You may attract artistic, unique or elusive lovers.
At times, you'll feel idealistic in love and prone to deceiving yourself (like seeing what you want to see in a lover rather than who they really are).
Or, you could find yourself falling in love with someone unattainable or attached, someone whom you feel needs saving.
Dream-like romance is a major potential under the influence of Neptune, but try to remain grounded.
You may very well fall for someone who opens you up to the world of romance, but just make sure you're seeing them for who they are, instead of who you want them to be.
You've been super serious the last year about personal responsibilities, which has created a lot more order in your life.
But, it has also made the people you love feel somewhat alienated at times.
Now, with your ruling planet Jupiter positioning itself in a more harmonious place to your sign, you have time to focus on happier goals.
You may be able to make an unconventional love relationship work under this influence.
While you still feel that need for order that Saturn has created in your love life, you will come to understand that while your love life may not follow all the rules of a traditional relationship, at least it gives back to you in a dependable way.
Oh, and I can't leave this out: Make sure you look forward to deliriously good sex throughout April to May of 2017, with Mars in your seventh house of partnerships.
Well, Capricorn, relationships and love aren't making huge headlines in your chart in 2017, but that doesn't mean changes aren't occurring in your love life. It just means they're more subtle.
Beginning at the end of 2016 and staying with you through most of 2017, you'll feel the beneficial influence of a trine between Saturn and Uranus, creating more stability in your home life and general attitude, which will positively impact relationships of all kinds.
Finding ways to make improvements in your life without having to make the huge, sweeping changes you've been going through in the last year will be a theme in 2017.
You've been through your own personal sexual revolution through 2016 and have come out of it with a deeper connection to the one you love, or a deeper connection with yourself.
Going into 2017, you'll be discovering a deeper understanding of what you want, as an individual and in a partnership.
A series of eclipses through January 2019 point to some drama as you make important discoveries about who you are and what you want.
Pluto in your privacy sector can have the effect of stirring up a lot of psychic and emotional crap to deal with, and while you may feel the need to keep a lot of this to yourself, as long as you are actually doing the inner work it requires of you, the process will directly affect your relationships for the better.
Venus is in your sign from January 3 to February 2, 2017, and for some of that time, Mars is also in Pisces.
This will be another wonderful time for personal attraction, especially with a Full Moon in your romance sector on January 12, putting you into dramatic touch with your feelings for someone.
The North Node moving through your partnership throughout the year suggests that this year, your path to fulfillment in relationships is recognizing your relationship needs.
You've been facing a lot of fears that you have related to intimacy and to sharing yourself honestly with a partner, and you've made great strides.
The challenge is to work on sensitizing yourself to the needs of others and to directly address your fears of the demands a partner or significant people in your life might make on you.
Happy New Year's, kids. Remember to be patient and kind to yourself.
And as Rainer Maria Rilke said,