The Difference Between Relationships With Instant Attraction And Ones Where Attraction Grows

by Alexia LaFata

Have you ever started dating someone you weren't sure you actually liked? Yes, you had a good enough time with them, and you were OK with them putting their arm around you... but something inside of you wasn't completely sold yet? It's normal to wonder, "Can attraction grow?" when you're experiencing this type of relationship. It's also normal to lust after relationships where you immediately feel a spark — where you know right away that you're attracted to someone and want to be with them.

But what really is the difference between relationships with instant attraction and ones where attraction grows over time? Does one ultimately end up being better than the other? Will one be more successful in the long-term? How will your emotions unfold in each one? Women took to Reddit to explain their experiences with each of these types of relationships, and their answers are as varied as they come.

This woman puts someone she's instantly attracted to on a pedestal and ignores their bad qualities.

This woman feels more comfortable as time goes on with someone she's not attracted to right away.

This woman feels like there isn't much in common between her and someone she's immediately attracted to.

This woman has dated guys she's not immediately attracted to and regrets it.

This woman has found that attraction will usually build for her, but only if certain elements are present.


This woman doesn't think the relationships are too different.

This woman ultimately feels disappointed by guys she's immediately attracted to.

This woman has had a hard time "forcing" attraction to anyone.

This woman calls the guy for whom her attraction grew the "sexiest man" she knows.

This woman has had better relationships with guys she was immediately attracted to.

This woman has literally only been in relationships where attraction grows.

So, there you have it. Every relationship is different, and it doesn't matter how it started. All that matters is how it is. 

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