5 Things Your Boyfriend Thinks When You Bring Up Your Horoscope Again

by Zach Russell

Like most men (and people), I think horoscopes exploit the masses by being vague enough for anyone to identify with them.

But that doesn't mean they're worthless.

The value of a horoscope has nothing to do with what it says, and everything to do with how you react to it.

Your reaction to your “destiny” tells you far more about yourself than your actual horoscope ever could.

For example, today's Aquarius horoscope says, “Change is good, but it's not always comfortable. If you are going through some transitions in your life right now, get ready to combat that discomfort by surrounding yourself with the people and things that make you feel comfy and cozy.”

If you read that and instinctively breathed a sigh of relief because you've been working 60-hour weeks, then you'll probably take some time off, but only because your horoscope confirmed your bias.

Likewise, if the thought of stopping your professional momentum make your blood boil, you might work even later into the night to secure that promotion.

Horoscopes are self-perpetuating.

They amplify subconscious desires and force you to consider them, which makes them great for discovering what you actually want.

Similar to specific horoscopes, it doesn't really matter whether or not your boyfriend is a true believer.

Rather, it's how your boyfriend reacts when you bring up sign compatibility that tells you what kind of boyfriend he really is.

Is he the type to manipulate your worldview to agree with his?

Does he love you unconditionally, even the parts of you he disagrees with?

Or is he a down-to-earth nonbeliever, who makes fun of you while also supporting you?

There are many types of boyfriends out there, and how they treat your belief in horoscopes can indicate the health of your relationship.

Here's how to interpret his reactions to your horoscope obsession:

I saw you across the bar, and I asked you out. The stars had nothing to do with it.”

Some men feel threatened by the idea of horoscopes.

One of the reasons women believe in astrology more than men is because men are historically used to taking control of their own destinies. 

Men take pride in the thought that they secured your affection with their wit, charm, humor, etc.

In a “how we met” story, men would much rather claim that they took the initiative in asking you out.

They bought you a drink.

They won you over.

They're the hero in the story of your relationship.

Imagine a guy's frustration if you swoop in and give all the credit to the fact that he's a Leo and you're a Sagittarius.

If your man gets defensive whenever you bring up celestial alignment, maybe just let him have this one.

“I can't believe you buy into this stuff” (smiling)

To him, the fact that you care about a waxing gibbous moon is absolutely ridiculous.

But it's all in good fun.

He teases you for believing in astrology, and you tease him for being shorter than his younger brother.

Neither of you take things too seriously, and you can let go most of the stuff that doesn't truly matter.

No need to worry; this guy seems good.

“I can't believe you buy into this stuff” (no smile)

When he stops smiling, you should worry.

Generally, that's a good rule for all relationships, but it's especially important when it's directed at one of your beliefs.

Horoscopes may not be that important, but that doesn't mean he needs to be a dick about it.

If he antagonizes you over something small like horoscopes, that does not bode well for bigger disagreements down the road.

If he won't allow something as harmless as astrology, it's time to reconsider why he won't let you be your own person.

“Why do you believe this?”

This guy's a keeper.

Not only does he respect your opinion, but he is genuinely curious about what makes you tick.

He's challenging you to reach into yourself to find a deeper explanation than “just because.”

He's not trying to change you; he's trying to help you along the path of self-discovery and actualization, just as you should help him.

He is nothing but a constructive force in your life.

“This is all bullsh*t, but if it helps you, I'm happy.”

This is personally my stance.

If any romantic interest tells me she believes in horoscopes, I will tell her straight-up I think it's a load of pseudoscience written by failed-English-majors-turned-astrologists.

But if it helps her, I'm all for it.

As long as her horoscope isn't telling her to run into traffic as a way to “Get in touch with your madness,” we're cool.

Besides, horoscopes aren't usually too crazy (or traffic-related), and they've actually added some zest to one of my relationships.

Several years ago, I was dating a girl who believed in horoscopes.

Her horoscope had told her to “test your limits, and as well as those of the ones around you.”

So, one freezing December night, we stripped down to our underwear and raced each other barefoot across a snow-covered beach.

At first my feet burned, and then I couldn't feel them anymore.

When we got back to the door, we hobbled inside and cradled our numb soles like they were newborn babies.

We snuck upstairs, turned on the hot water, hopped in the tub, and that's quite enough detail for the Internet.

The point is, it was one of the craziest and strangely romantic things I've done in my life.

I still maintain that horoscopes are a complete racket, but saying “Yes” to your partner's nonsensical inclinations every now and then doesn't hurt.

That is, unless her horoscope says, “Get your finances in order.”

No one wants to do taxes on date night.