Why is it that people make relationships so extremely complicated? They honestly don’t have to be – people just make them that way. It’s partially because people love having a little extra drama in their lives, making them feel as if they were living their favorite soap opera or reality TV show.
This complication is also, in large part, due to the fact that most people don’t actually know what they want. And when they do know what they want, they still have a difficult time figuring out if what they have is actually what they want – or if it’s good enough.
Few in number are those that can make a decision and stick with it to the inevitable end, whichever end that may be. Most people jump the gun and end relationships before their time should be up. It’s this sort of pulling the Band-Aid approach that has people quitting on their partners with little cause.
Even worse is the fact that many people already understand the way they think and decide to get a head start on ruining the relationship by never fully committing themselves in the first place.
This is all swell for the people never giving themselves fully – they invest a minimal amount and minimize their risk. However, they cannot allow their partners to know how little vested in the relationship they actually are because that would guarantee a premature breakup.
Instead, these con artists – because that’s what they are – put up a façade and allow their lovers to believe that they are just as dedicated to the relationship as they themselves are. I believe it goes without saying how cruel and wrong this is.
For those of you who have found yourself getting the short end of the stick, as I have before, you understand exactly how much such an arrangement sucks.
The truth inevitably comes out and the only person to get hurt is the one to have dedicated him or herself to the relationship fully. The con artist simply moves on with his or her life, like nothing ever happened.
While only giving half of yourself to a relationship is unethical, the responsibility falls upon both parties. Sure, the con artist should never have started the con in the first place.
Yet, the blame also goes to the individual that was conned. If you’re being conned, then you ought to know that you’re being conned.
Easier said than done? Not really. Most people are bad liars and poor con artists. More often than not, there's plenty of transparency in the relationship and in how much each individual is putting into it.
The problem lies with the fact that love is often blinding, making it difficult for us to see past the illusion we created for ourselves. Nevertheless, if you’re being conned then you have yourself just as much to blame as the assh*le or bitch that was leading you on for oh so long.
Worse yet is the fact that many people see the con coming from miles away – and allow themselves to be a part of it nonetheless. This is just stupidity at its worst.
We fall for someone we know is bad for us, someone we are almost certain will never love us, and we nevertheless decide to get involved. Why? That varies on the individual. Some like being the victims.
Others think they can make someone fall for them. Others still simply lie to themselves and convince themselves that the relationship will work – when clearly it won’t. I’m sorry, but if you see a con coming and you allow yourself to be conned, then you deserve the pain that follows.
Hopefully that pain will serve as a lesson and you’ll begin to realize the folly of your ways. Someone who is only half dedicated to you and to the relationship is not someone worth your time.
You’re better than that. You deserve better than that. And you need to demand and expect better than that. If you don’t and you allow yourself to waste your time with someone who will never love you the way you deserve to be loved, then at the very least accept the result.
Don’t go rushing to your friends and family, looking for a shoulder to cry on. They don’t want to hear your complaints or see your tears. It’s pain that you wanted and it’s pain that you received.
You decide the way to live your life and with whom to spend it. We make decisions and then must live with them.
Learn to make better decisions.