Cuddling isn’t for everyone, and that’s OK. Some people prefer to have more personal space than others, and if that’s the case for either you or your partner, then respecting each other's boundaries — physical or otherwise — can actually help create more intimacy for your relationship. However, not all cuddling positions require you to invade your SO’s personal space, and if you’re looking for a cuddle position that gives you both space to breathe, then you have options.
As psychologist and dating coach Jennifer B. Rhodes previously told Elite Daily, you shouldn't expect everyone to enjoy getting snuggly. According to her, people who are empaths, or are particularly sensitive to other people's energy, sometimes struggle with cuddling because they need more energetic space to themselves. "It's often misinterpreted as a lack of interest or affection, but it is not meant that way," Rhodes explained. If physical affection is important to you, there are ways to talk to your partner about wanting to cuddle more, and there are even more ways to feel close.
Here are a few classic cuddling positions you and your boo can try if they’re open to it — though FYI, there’s no wrong way to snuggle with your SO.
Resting Your Head On Your Partner’s Chest
Lying side-by-side with your head resting on your SO’s chest (or vice versa) doesn’t just give you both room to breathe — it’s also usually a good indication that there’s a lot of trust in your partnership. "Lying head to chest is a display of dominance and submission in the same way it is a demonstration of trust, affection, and love," body language expert Tonya Reiman previously told Elite Daily. She explains that people will typically only rest their heads on the chests of those they trust. This position also allows your partner to wrap their arms around you, which in turn can make you feel extra-protected.
Facing Each Other Completely Intertwined
If either you or your boo isn’t super touchy-feely, then entangling your limbs can be a little too close for comfort. However, lying entangled in your partner’s arms can be a sign of true relationship satisfaction, and whether you do it in small doses or for long stretches of time, it’s super sweet. “It means your lives are intertwined, that you function as a pair," Patti Wood, body language author and author of Success Signals, A Guide to Reading Body Language, previously told Elite Daily. “You probably finish each other's sentences and take care of each other."
Being The Big Spoon
Whether you prefer being the big spoon or the little spoon, there’s no denying that spooning is a great way to feel close to your lover. "For those who like being the big spoon, it's possible you are motivated by the closeness and sexual tension that this position creates," relationship expert and certified counselor David Bennett previously told Elite Daily — but it’s also possible you just like being able to hold your partner close while they keep their hands to themselves.
Being The Little Spoon
The reverse of the big spoon is, of course, the little spoon, where your partner holds you close to their chest. Wood previously called being the little spoon “vulnerable,” pointing out that it’s one of the most sexually tempting of the cuddle positions. According to her, if you’re the little spoon, the position is sexual but also says, “I trust you.” And if you spoon with a few inches of space between you, Wood said it means “I’ve got your back, you can count on me” — though it’s not as sexual as spooning closer. Plus, if you give yourselves a few inches of space, the position may feel less stifling.
Facing Away With Your Butts Touching
For those who seriously struggle with close-contact cuddle positions, the butt-to-butt is the way to go. According to behavioral scientist and relationship coach Clarissa Silva, touching butts while you cuddle is actually more intimate than you may think. “Butt-to-butt position seems like distance," Silva previously told Elite Daily, "but it actually reveals that you are highly committed to one another and that your bond is long-lasting. It can represent that you both are invested in one another while maintaining your independence." It doesn’t get better than that.
No matter how (or if!) you and your boo choose to cuddle, the best position is always one in which you both feel secure, comfortable, and close — even if super-close physical proximity isn’t your thing.
Jennifer B. Rhodes, psychologist and dating coach
Tonya Reiman, body language expert
Patti Wood, body language expert and author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma
David Bennett, relationship expert and certified counselor
Tonya Reiman, body language expert
Editor's Note: This story has been updated by Elite Daily Staff.
This article was originally published on