Why Being An Alpha Female Is The Best Way To Avoid Dead-End Dating

by Rachel Wolfson
Warner Bros. Pictures

About one year ago, I decided to move to San Francisco.

San Francisco is chock-full of eligible bachelors.

In fact, census data shows there are more single men than single women under the age of 65 living in SF.

Facebook even conducted a study of its users last fall that showed San Francisco as having the highest ratio of single men to single women of any major American city.

So, why does it seem like every woman I know in San Francisco is single?

Meet the Alpha Female.

Urban Dictionary defines the Alpha Female as, “A dominant female in a group. She dates as many males as she wants, is strong, confident and a hard worker, as well as often busy. Alpha Females are intelligent, intellectual problem solvers.”

San Francisco is filled with Alpha Females.

Though, this shouldn’t be surprising, as San Francisco is known to be a city full of educated women and men, techies and startup geniuses.

According to a recent Forbes article, Silicon Valley is home to nine out of the 20 richest self-made women in America.

Yet while Alpha Females thrive in the workplace, how do they rank overall as daters?

Does this have anything to do with the high percentage of single males who make up SF?

Based on personal experience, I’d say dating as an Alpha Female is a lot more difficult than one would imagine.

First, finding the time to date as a career-driven woman can be challenging.

Some of my closest friends are female CEOs, for example, and they often find it hard to even schedule time to sleep at night.

Working endless hours, traveling around the world and being 100 percent devoted are all required when heading a startup.

If an Alpha Female isn’t already married or in a long-term relationship, she will most likely be single.

I was fortunate to interview Amanda Bradford, CEO and founder of The League.

As a self-described Alpha Female, Bradford mentioned to me she tries to meet someone new at least once a month, but finding the time to date is often a difficult task.

When asked about her experience dating in SF, she explained casual dating in the city is easy, but finding a lasting relationship is difficult:

The guy I’m dating has to be okay with having a girlfriend who he’s only going to see once a week before 10 pm at night. He also has to be understanding if I’m unable to go with him and his friends to something where all the other girlfriends are going to be.

Yet like any other great Alpha Female, Bradford decided to come up with a solution that would help career-driven women find suitable male counterparts.

Taking matters into her own hand, Bradford created The League, a dating app offered in New York City and San Francisco that caters to the needs of an Alpha Female.

In a recent LinkedIn post explaining the purpose behind The League, Bradford wrote,

I wanted to build a community where smart, outspoken, high-achieving women are celebrated and encouraged to progress in their career full-time. I wanted to never ever hear a woman be worried that her educational achievements or career ambition would be a turn-off.

Ironically, the high percentage of career-driven women in San Francisco could also be the reason why the Bay Area is filled with so many single men.

Sure, one would think that living in a city full of both successful and focused females and males would actually make dating easier, but this doesn’t happen to be the case.

While the majority of men in SF aren’t afraid of building a company, for example, they seem to be intimidated by women who come off as their “equals.”

This often results in a ton of first and second dates, but not much else.

Yes, being a single Alpha Female in San Francisco has not only become the norm, but I also believe it has become the latest trend.

Just like any other trendsetter, it’s time we flaunt our singleness because I don’t think it’s going out of fashion anytime soon.

Now is the time to accept being single doesn’t mean there is something wrong with us.

Rather, it means we are strong, independent women who are focused on our careers and personal growth.

However, if an Alpha Female does become overly frustrated by men who can’t seem to handle her, she can always just create an app that will solve the problem.