7 Ways You're Only Making Yourself More Miserable During A Breakup

by Monica

Breaking up: It has happened to all of us. Whether it was a seventh grade, week-long relationship or a five-year relationship, all of us have gone through it.

We've also all Googled "ways to get over someone," or my favorite, "how to move on after losing the one you love." However, all of those articles, for the most part, only explain how to get over someone, NOT what to avoid in the process.

Throughout my seemingly unfulfilling relationships, I have done all of these things.

However, none of them worked, and I was miserable for almost two years. Now, I'm sharing the seven things I did that you shouldn't do after someone breaks your heart.

1. Binge drink

Please, whatever you do, when the relationship has run its course, don't binge drink.

It can turn into a life problem and it may make you feel better for the moment, but when you wake up the next morning, you'll be miserable and still upset about him, except with a hangover — and nobody wants that.

2. Watch movies pertaining to the exact situation you're going through

Do not do this. I'm sure your first thought after the breakup, when you're alone sitting at home, is to watch some sort of movie that fits what you're going through, or worse, "The Notebook." Odds are, you will not get back together. So, don't get your hopes up.

3. Sulk for more than 24 hours

I sulked for almost two years before I finally found someone, settled down and had a child. However, I still think about it from time to time.

There's a rule: You have one day to cry, scream and do everything you can to let out your frustration. One day.

After that one day, pick yourself up, go to work, put a smile on your face and move on.

4. Send messages or continuously call in hopes of re-connection

This gives you false hope and puts scenarios in your head of you getting back together someday. You won't, that's why it's called a breakup; it's over.

Most likely, your messages and calls will go unanswered and you'll look like a stalker or worse, a crazy bitch.

5. Find a rebound

Most people would say this is okay, and "in order to get over someone, you should get under someone else." NO. This doesn't work, especially if you're in a vulnerable state.

You will get attached to your rebound; whether he or she is a friend or a stranger, you will get attached.

However, if it's not a one-night stand and is something more, you will get the other person's hopes up, when in reality, you're damaged goods and completely a mess.

Don't drag someone else down with you because you're already dragged down.

6. Have that "all men are the same mentality"

First of all, all men aren't the same, and telling yourself this will prevent you from actually finding happiness with someone.

Just because a few relationships didn't work doesn't mean they all won't work. Just give it time and you will find someone — but it might not be right now.

7. Losing focus of who you are because this breakup is taking over your life

Don't punish yourself because it's over. You should be happy because you're so much closer to finding the right relationship. Don't lose yourself or give up your goals.

Also, don't change who you are to try to impress him or her. It's over for a reason, and I highly doubt it's because you have blonde hair.

Yes, relationships come and go, and hopefully, these things help you while you work on moving on.