Divorce can seem like a nightmare that will change your life forever. Whatever the reason for the split, you cannot deny the fact that it takes time for you to get your life back to normal.
If you have kids, the already complicated process of a divorce can be made much more difficult. The kids can often feel like the divorce is their fault, and the toll it takes on you is amplified for them.
There are actions during the divorce process that should be avoided at all cost when custody is on the line.
1. Don't talk trash about your ex in front of the kids.
Marriages can go wrong. There is a possibility that you do not develop an appropriate level of understanding with your partner. This type of marriage will end up in divorce but the process is more complicated when you have to handle this situation in the presence of kids.
The custody battle in itself will create issues between the partners. The worst thing you could do it talk bad about your partner in front of your children.
2. Don't discourage your kids from seeing your ex.
For kids, both of you are equal, so you cannot cut the other parent off from their children. For the proper psychological development and mental satisfaction, kids need to communicate with both of their parents.
Keeping them away from your partner may inculcate negative feelings in your child that will not be favorable for you in the future.
3. Don't skim over the clauses of custody agreement.
Divorce bring a lot of destruction with it. It is always better to have a legal agreement about the custody of your kids. This agreement will contain all the important information and situations in which both of you can meet your children.
If your ex is creating obstacles for you to see your kids, you need to have permission in written document.
4.Don't let the divorce destroy your mental health.
Divorce can be destructive in a multitude of ways. The breakdown of family creates a lot of issues for all the members of the family.
The stress of a divorce has long lasting effects on the mental health of all parties involved. To avoid this frustration, you need to relax first.
If you manage your emotions in a healthy way, your children will be able to get a control on theirs.
5. Don't wear your emotions on your sleeve.
Getting emotional and dwelling on your loss will not benefit you in any way. Not only will it take a toll on your mental health, but your kids will pick up on the stress and negativity.
Even when you talk about your loss with your friends or family members, it will be tough on your kids to hear their family's dirty laundry aired out.
If you show your kids that you are unhappy about the situation it will only teach them to be unhappy about it.
Children can get emotionally disturbed with this kind of constant tension. Make sure all arrangements are legal and in writing. Make an extra effort to maintain constant communication with your children.
Be certain to let them know that they are always welcome to share their concerns with you. If they do bring concerns up, make sure to sort them out in a positive way.
If your ex is restricting your access to the kids, you should get legal help. There is very little you can do on your own so you should go with the right channels to get close to your kids.
Remember, your kids did not ask for the divorce. You should be making every effort to make the transition as effortless for them as possible.