5 Reasons Men Put Women In The Friend Zone, As Told By A Guy


The friend zone isn't a place exclusively reserved for the male species.

Women can be placed into that dreaded sunken place, just as men can be.

In fact, I would argue that this often damages the female ego more than it does the male ego. Because hey, the friend zone is familiar territory for 99 percent of men.

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We've all been placed there. Women, on the other hand tend to take it a tad bit personal if a man of their interest chooses to make their dynamic platonic. The agony.

The good news is, unlike the male friend zone dynamic, there are usually more benign reasons behind why a man would want to place an attractive young lady into the zone of no return (usually).

Most of the time, it's for reasons other than because we are just not into you. There's usually a logic behind the decision to remain platonic, that makes perfect sense to us but you probably don't or maybe even refuse to understand.

Here are the top five reasons why he says you're just a friend.

5. He's just not that into you.

I said most of the time this isn't the case.

Unfortunately, there are cases when men just, well, don't feel the same way you might feel. It happens. Everybody isn't for everybody.

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We've all been on both sides of this equation. It hurts, but I promise you'll move on. You might even have a great friend for life once you do come to terms with this.

4. We don't have time.

We're not really in the space to give you everything you deserve as a girlfriend.

We do want you in our lives however, because you might play a bigger role than you'll ever know. But with a relationship comes responsibilities. If we are not a position to handle said responsibilities, it could drive a deep wedge between us.

I'd rather not.

3. Because we appreciate the aspect of friendships, too.

One of my closest female friends is probably one of the most physically stunning women I've ever laid eyes on. (Hey Dr. P!)

Our friendship has even made some of the women I've been romantically involved with uncomfortable. But I wouldn't change our friendship for anything, and I would hope that one day I would be able to find someone who understands this.

I value her friendship more than anything else, and I would never do anything to sabotage our dynamic. She's been there for me at some of my lowest points of adulthood and I've been able to count on her for over a decade.


In this particular case, it's not that either one of us ever put the other one in the friend zone. The point I'm trying to make is that men value platonic friendships with women.

So if he puts you in the friend zone because he actually values your friendship, I would hope you would at least be flattered if not honored, knowing that you may have close bond with this man for life. A relationship, if it fails, would ruin this.

2. We have enough respect for you to not take it there when it shouldn't.

A while back, me and a lady friend crossed a few boundaries and got a little kinky one night.

Before we went all the way, she sternly warned me that if we “go there” we are “staying there.”

I turned all the way back.

Not because I didn't want to do it or didn't want her for that matter, but we just never talked about it. After six years of friendship, and a little on and off again romantic inklings. I knew that 2 am, in a bed filled with lust, was neither the time or place to have this discussion

I could have pulled the classic 17-year-old boy move and agreed to the terms and conditions just to get what I wanted in the moment.

I have too much respect for her.

If you are to move about friend status, I believe there's a way to go about it.

It should be discussed under the appropriate conditions. If he respects you and takes you seriously, a man isn't just going to risk your friendship at the drop of a dime without giving it very careful consideration.

1. We don't deserve you.

We know you're a great woman; I also know I might not yet be the great man you deserve.

Maybe you see something in me that I don't see for myself just yet.

Maybe you see something in me that I don't see for myself just yet.

Or maybe you think you do. However, I know better than you.

I know where I'm at mentally, emotionally and financially. I know you're probably better off with someone else, even though it will kill me to see you with another man.

*Cues "Bambi" by Jidenna.*

At the same time, I know this will end in disaster because we are just not on the same level.

Let's just spare each other that calamity and hold out for hopes of the future.