Is He “The One” For Me? Ask Yourself These 5 Questions First
Before I met my husband, I didn't believe in the concept of "The One."
I thought it was too disaster-oriented to think that way. After all, if there was just ONE person for each of us, what were the chances we could actually find them?
When I did finally meet him, I realized that I had a narrow-minded view on what was (and wasn't) possible when it comes to love. Now, I absolutely feel like he's the only one in the entire world for me, and I knew it right away.
If you think you may have found that one special someone for you, you may be feeling the same mix of excitement and nerves that I did. You might be wondering if there are some ways you can help yourself decide if the person really is "The One" - and lucky for you, there are.
Below, you'll see some great questions to ask yourself first to help figure out if you're with your perfect person for you.
1. Can You Be Yourself Around Them?
One of the ways I knew that my husband was meant for me was that for the first time ever, I felt that I could be myself.
With him, I never felt the need to hide any weird quirks (like my love of peanut butter and pickle sandwiches) or any bad habits (like my inability to manage my bad moods). It floored me, because I never thought I would feel like that in a relationship.
If you think this person might be the absolute one for you, ask yourself if you can truly be you when you're with them. If you are completely open, flaws and all, that might be a good sign they are "The One." If you're still hiding things or hesitant to reveal certain parts of yourself, that block might be up for a reason.
2. Do You Both See Life In The Same Way?
I never wanted to have kids, I don't want a stable office job, and I really don't like sitting still in one geographic location.
These are all things that my husband is not only OK with, but also values about me. He sees life in a very similar fashion: He may want that desk life... but is completely OK with my preferences, loves to travel, and doesn't want kids either.
In a relationship with "The One," you'll find that your life goals and values easily link up. You won't be doing work to try to align two separate belief systems. Instead, you'll just fit naturally.
3. Do You Communicate Well?
My husband and I talk about everything under the sun.
Whether it's just the weird thing one of our pets did, or a new direction we're thinking of taking in our careers, we always approach our conversations open to communicating freely. It's one of the things that keeps our relationship growing.
You and this person should be able to talk about anything - and, most importantly, you should be talking about it all. Let it all out on the table. If you feel like you can't bring things up in a healthy manner, they might not be your best partner for you.
But if you truly love talking and could talk openly and honestly for hours... then don't let 'em go.
4. Do They Fit In With The Things That Matter To You?
My baby sister, who was always the most important person in my life, thinks my husband is awesome.
Similarly, my mother-in-law, who only had one child (my husband, of course) loves me like one of her own. These were things that were very important to my husband and I - and they worked out perfectly.
We both fit seamlessly into each other's lives, understanding and appreciative of the lives we had before meeting.
When you've found "The One," the people and things in your life that matter to you will all seem to flow perfectly with that of your partner's. Everyone's entitled to their differences and own interests, but there's just something that'll allow you to co-exist with little effort even if you're not always exactly the same.
5. Are They On The Same Page?
My husband and I went from first date to deciding to get married in just five weeks.
We couldn't have done any of this if we weren't both 100 percent on the same page from day one.
I'm not saying you need to get married as fast as we did, but in assessing whether or not someone is the one for you, look to see if they feel the same way. It may sound obvious, but many people may unfortunately find themselves head over heels without stopping to really assess whether they could build a future with this person.
If they don't feel the same way, there's not even a chance of something long-term. Make sure they feel like you're also "The One," otherwise this is about to be a very one-sided relationship.
Ask yourself these questions, and most importantly, trust that deep, gut feeling. If you feel like you've found them and you feel good about your own answers, don't doubt yourself.
That's it - they're "The One."